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3/02/2016

The Rise of the Super Delegates

A common feature in a democracy is civilian control of the military, but what happens when the masses are no longer beholden to their civilian leaders and become a threat to the established order? What happens when silent majorities rise up demanding that their voices be heard? We have no Ataturk to reign in the caprice and superstitions of the masses, and despite the militarization of our police forces, citizens can still be heard. Our Democratic elders, in a draconian display of their sagacity, spent over a decade (1968-82) developing the "Super Delegate". Originally only comprising 14% of all delegates in 1982, their numbers now comprise 20% of all delegates, and the DNC hopes, ideally, to swell their ranks to 30% of all delegates. They are chosen from the democratic elite, sitting Democratic Governors, Senators, Congressfolk and party leaders. These uber delegates are given the right to vote for their candidate of choice, irregardless of the feckless choices made by democratic voters.

"The people who cast the votes don't decide an election, the people who count the votes do."
Inoculated against populist sentiment, indoctrinated in party fealty and fitted with a range of cybernetic implants making them ideal for stumping for candidates, identifying potential and subversive voters,and infiltrating and manipulating caucuses, primaries and conventions. These delegates will use whatever means necessary to secure the coronation of the DNC's chosen candidate.


Texas is yours Mrs. Clinton
As of now the DNC is attempting to fit their super-delegates with temporal displacement devices so they can go back in time and kill Dorothy Sanders before Bernie is born, this saving Clinton from the embarrassment of having to actually convince the unwashed masses that she should lead them, though Sanders says he has a very, very, very good chance to send back his best friend to protect her from time traveling super-delegates.