Area mother, unable to obtain coffee, murders everyone

Murder Tree, WA -In the sleepy, if not isolated and slightly off, pacific northwest hamlet of Murder Tree Washington, the town saw what some are calling the largest mass murder in Murder Tree history since the 1973 Saint Anne's Lynching , which saw an entire busload of nuns murdered by unknown assailants in the forests just outside of town, where the woods whisper, and bullied children enter on a dare, never to be seen again. While that crime scene was only discovered after they drew a vast murder of crows, when one skittish ornithologist who refused to give his name in unspoken fear came upon the grizzly scene when investigating the birds, sometime after the interview, he gouged out his own eyes and committed suicide by self immolation.

The Sole Survivor of Saint Anne's Convent, who chewed off her  own tongue in 1974 and spends her days plaintively looking to Jesus on the cross, and terrified at an unseen entity to her left, where the room is noticeably colder

Some time between 5:30AM and 6:30AM Renata Wall, wife to Nick Wall, the former High School football hero, who now operates a garage in town and is known for his philandering and drinking, and his twin daughters from his previous marriage, Trudy & Cecilia, who made a point of calling Emilia by her first name, and despite their plain appearance, had slept with many of the towns residents. Finally, despairing of getting a %$#@en cup of coffee, on that muggy bug infested dawn, she brutally murdered everyone in the house, four women on her block she suspected of sleeping with her husband, beating one of them to death with her husbands severed head, going on to blow up the diner she worked at as the breakfast crowd swelled, despite the probable presence of drinkable coffee, and died while trying to kill the town sheriff with a brick and screaming in ancient Babylonian.

It wasn't the first morning she said she would kill for a cup of coffee, but it was the first morning she meant it

When asked to comment all the Sheriff would say is " The forest takes, and the town abides" in an inexplicable Maine accent. Town Historian, Hollis Atwood, former asylum Doctor at the town depository for the incurably insane, which was closed in 1997 for its myriad of abuses and severe neglect of its wards, added " Every 15 to 25 years our town has a 'Bad Summer' , children go missing, cattle get torn apart, the shadows come out of the woods and everyone becomes a little 'strange'" adding "even I spent one summer collecting the bones of the towns deceased to make my own city of the damned in the boarded up Asylum because I was sure it was the indomitable will of the Goat King, who led the Murder Tree strangler to take up residence there long after my involvement with the scene".