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| He already has the support of Grand Wizards, and he already sold his soul to help restructure some debt |
After admitting that the only way he could possible become president is if he influences an unhinged armed man to assassinate his rival, kind of like how how a super-pac can't coordinate with their candidate, wink, wink, nudge, nudge say no more. Admitting that only with a heavy does of magical realism could he possibly win in November, a topic he went off at in front a crowd that had gathered in an abandoned car park, quickly forgetting the realism aspect and showing that lack of basic knowledge and judgement that has so far characterized his oratory the candidate explained how he had always wanted to be a wizard, and felt that he could wield the best kinds of magic, that owning Trump University basically makes him just like Albus Dumbldore, then seemed to get confused about the difference between the KKK and D& D, before going on a 45 minute rant about how elves are a bunch of fags, underlining his point by prancing about the stage in an effete manner that he seemingly believes is elf like. His anti-elfen rant was so over the top that even some Trump supporters, even those entirely buying into his new fantasy, couldn't bring themselves to clap for the much more palatable idea of walling off the Orcs, before mentioning his personal admiration for Sauron, but thought he needed to get tougher, smarter and stronger.