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| Because if they have to hear another Human Liberal tell them the true meaning of Life Day, they will rip their hairless arm clear out of its socket |
In 1978 a one George Lucas made a documentary about the most important holiday on Kashyyyk, Life Day, airing it on Nov 17th to show the similarities between America, with its Thanksgiving Harvest festival, and the long oppressed Wookies own harvest Festival "
Life Day". Christians, always excited to co-opt another people's successful customs, had, by the period of the Galactic Civil war, moved the Holiday to December 25th outside of Kashyyyk, probably because Han Solo was always talking about Jesus ( and why Han looks down on the force), and instead of being a triennial event as it had been practiced up to 1,500,000 years before the Battle of Yavin, it has been turned into an annual event. While the Sith outright banned the holiday with
GR-1NC4, and even Emperor Palpatine famously thumbed his nose at Star Christians, by yelling "Bah, Humbug!", clearly using the force to travel through time and space to have knowledge of "A Christmas Carol". The Republic was far more insidious adding elements to the holiday that would never have existed on a planet that had year round temperate climate, global Jungles, and the simple red robes that are the only cloths worn by the wookies, and only for one day, and only because Lucas was wildly overbudget and couldn't afford full wookie costumes for all the historical reenactors, for example:
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| If you aren't wearing this, you aren't celebrating Life Day! |
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What does "Nutcracker Armor" have to do with 7 foot tall hairy arboreal bipeds celebrating the harvest, life, the ones they lost, and the eating of Orga root?
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While the Wookies gather, every three years, the Alliance to Restore the Republic, who are outwardly force worshipers, but clearly crypto-christian's who have adapted the local mystical traditions and customs to spread the word of the Gospels, making it an annual celebration, dressing up Wroshyr trees as magdalelenian whores, instead of chewing Orga root till your mind becomes one with the Tree of Life, and instead of singing "A Day to Celebrate" set to the sacred
theme, They actually sing songs about Santa Clause and Wasseling, which is really no surprise, as the Star Pope Obi Wan Kenobi's final words where "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine", now, who does that sound like? Maybe, a little like Jesus.
