The Whiskey Republic Omelette

Ingredients:

- 3 Eggs at room temperature

- 1 Quarter Vidalia Onion, minced*

- 2 oz of Baby Spinach, chopped

- 2 Cremini mushrooms

- 4 Table spoons of quality butter

- Gouda and Cheddar cheese, to taste (same goes for salt and privilege pepper)

If for Dinner:

- 2 Cloves of Garlic,crushed, minced*... defeated

Equipment:

- Beer mug

- Immersion blender

- Shallow-sided, non-stick, frying pan

- Spatula

Process:

Prepare "The Veg", the garlic should be given "The Nemesis Treatment", as should the onions, the spinach should be given a rough chop, and the mushrooms should be halved and quartered...as a warning.

The Veg, in order and prepared to die for your omelette

Crack the eggs into the beer mug, insert an active immersion blender into the mug and then pulse that @#$%.

Half the butter goes in the pan, on low, then the (Hypothetically, Garlic) mushrooms, onions and spinach till the ingredients are tender and moist [prolonged slurping noise]

Still on low, add the remaining butter, combine with "The Veg", and cover the pan evenly with it, then poor the egg mug in, starting around the edges, working for a even coating, and keep that pan moving until the egg has taken on a custard like consistency. Then, either, add the cheese, flip one side onto the other to enclose, then cook on each side for about a 30 sec to a minute, each, or...if you hate lightly cooked eggs and are feeling dexterous, crimp the edges with the spatula (so the edges separate from the pan) and leveraging with the spatula, flip the omelette custard side down, kill the heat, put cheese on top of half, wait a minute, and then close it up.

A meal so nice it's smiling

* A man should never be mincing, if a man is preparing this dish, he is giving the item TNT   

While Melanie is away Trump shall play...

It's going to happen

It seems much of Trump's alleged and proven misogyny, and the fact that so much of it has been made public, is all a "Trump red herring", both in the sense that he is not looking for lady butt, but instead the butt of former Mayor of London, who is Trump's Time-Travelling son, AND the sex act. While Melanie is safely in New York City trying to raise and contain a increasingly petulant, sexual, and cannibalistic Barron, safely, while making sure he only fuck/eats the best society has to offer (preferring vegan liberals), whereas, left to his own devices, he would mostly prey on street people.

When he has chosen a protester, he will squeeze his mother hand and indicate, and she will have Trump  personal dressed as secret service, escort them to to a nondescript Panel Van were he can feed in peace  

 
So with mommy preoccupied with what one psychotherapist described as a "Shadow of a soul whose only sincere drives are carnal and depraved satisfactions and dominance", Trump has had to make his own fun...

By which I mean he intends to Rape-or-be-Raped by the Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs Boris Johnson.

"I'm here to violently engage in penetration with a US President and chew bubble gum...and I'm all out of bubble gum"

In video taped matches between himself and Boris taped by either Ivanka or Mr. McMahon and Hollywood Hulk Hogan on the behalf of a series of shadowy shell corporations, probably run by the Russian government, Trump has turned the white house grounds into their rape ranch, dressing in garish costumes, playing out unlikely and unsavory scenarios, to the utter disgust of the Secret service, Kellyanne Conway, who the two men often dry hump between them, and unwitting tour groups, the two men employ stealth,' guile and strength in successively catching, pacifying and raping each other.

"Remember boys, no matter what you hear, see, smell or sense by other means, do not open the limo till they give us the safe word, do you hear me!"

Putin hopes to influence the USA through the use of the "American Spring Break"

Male guardians lock up your female wards, Putin is bringing Slavic manliness to American Spring Break!!! 

In a Swayze inspired move  Russian supreme leader and sex primate, Vladimir "The Iron Fist that Clutches the Throat of the West" Putin is going on a Caribbean arm wrestling tour during spring break, while reasserting soviet era soft power in the region, and pursuing his favorite past time, challenging American hegemony..

Hope I catch a shirt, just kidding!!! [awkward wink]

In his late march early April tour, the Ex-KGB Oligarch will arm wrestle state approved opponents while outwardly hawking his personally branded vodka, while secretly arranging weapons shipments to central American Drug Cartels, Narco-Terrorists, and separatists, not because he needs the money, but to @#$% with America, and because guns are cool.

[whisper] If you win,  I will kill you, by electrocuting you, through your testicles, while your family watches, while they are being electrocuted, through their genitals

The super cool, not gay, entirely democratically elected conqueror of the Crimea will parlay his social acumen into friendships with the wayward children of American politicians, military leaders, and officials of state after they have been compromised by Russian Intelligence in the guise of a sex workers, because he's the kind of friend who will help you get rid of a body, but will never let you forget that he knows how to get rid of a body.

I am so proud to live in a nation where my leader is a untrustworthy and insecure man, yet I do not fear invasion

.

Over the weekend the President, and then apparati of state have made baseless accusations, that if true, would mean the most popular man in a generation could be guilty of a punishable crime, while on the other hand, despite being in a unique position of being able to offer any evidence without legal repercussions, and having access to all the information the government has, they have failed to provide any. The White House Press Secretary, impersonating an overweight female comedian, has refused to talk about it further, and let us remember all we have to go on is a twitter tirade, which in court Trump's lawyer's have argued can not be taken as the truth, or a honest indication of the President's own views. So, till congresses water's down their investigation of his administrations ties to Russian officials, by simultaneously investigating a black man for a crime there is no evidence he committed, but he's not racist, because he told us so, he will not bring any evidence, or even discuss the topic. further.

Here the press secretary can be seen using his imagination to crush the heads of reporters he doesn't like

One has to wonder if he understands how insecure and untrustworthy this makes him look. Lets imagine he has an iota of evidence to back this up? A) Can you imagine him not discussing it in detail, during a rally, were he brings Obama in, in chains, being tased by ICE agents as he stumbles towards his cage onstage, where Trump sporting a noticeable erection and a Judges robes, would personally pass Judgement on the former president? B) Can you imagine any of the previous president's, 2 months into their first term, if they received a dossier, alleging that the past president, whose party is now wholly defeated, had listened in on their campaign, would they have been so insecure that they felt the need to leak it to the media? Or, at least, wouldn't wait till the mid terms? So even if he does have something on the last President, he must extremely flustered, nervous and insecure about investigation into his administrations ties Russia, AKA someone you don't want to be leading us against a resurgent Russia led by a popular strong man, especially if he feels to insecure, to no hold on to it and use it as leverage later on.

The Leader of the free world spent 30 minutes talking about the size of his inaugural crowd before breaking down sobbing asking why everyone loves Obama, but nobody loves him

Now to the far more probable reality that the president is lying, nothing like what he said happened, or at worse, there was a wiretap on someone reasonably wiretapped who happened to be in Trump Towers, where I am sure Trump does not restrict residency to moral and righteous paradigms of humanity. This would mean that the President of the most important nation on earth is libeling the former President on provable grounds, realizing this, they are backing out of the conversation by refusing to talk unless congress involves itself in an obvious fiasco, that is entirely partisan and unsupportable. I will say it again, I am so proud to live in a nation where my leader is a untrustworthy and insecure man, yet I do not fear invasion.

Did you know that the movie "Apollo 13" wasn't about space travel!?

While the film Apollo 13 certainly looked like a space drama, and seemed like it was based on real events and people, it was actually a piece of art therapy created in an attempt by Ron Howard to mediate the violent and destructive relationship Gary Sinise so desperately wanted with Tom Hanks, with Tom Hanks desire for a more business like, or even casual relationship, just one that didn't include killing his pets, harassing his wife and kids, and convincing strangers to rape him via dark-net chat rooms and forums.

So tell me Hanky Boy! You coming for Christmas!?!

Ron Howard sought a way for Sinise to live out whatever end game scenario he had cooked up for Hanks, without killing, humiliating or even harming the beloved actor and cherished coworker. The brass tacks of the scenario required Hanks to be stranded thousands of miles from any help, and Gary Sinise had to be his only lifeline. Ron Howard then concocted the scheme of filming Apollo 13, both to fulfill Gary Sinise's overwhelming psychological desire, and entice the space history aficionado Hanks into doing a project with a man that bloodeagled his golden retriever the previous Easter.    

Discarded tag line: " Finally got that smug SOB right where I want him"

While originally being offered the role of the flight director Gene Kranz, Sinise instead chose the role of Ken Mattingly, the spurned team member who was kicked out of the group for "diseased reasons", but he is actually the secret puppet master, and all the characters fall into his web. A great deal of footage was cut to make it more like actual events, and not a humiliating debacle for Jim Lovell, that leaves him emotionally and sensually in debt to Ken Mattingly, who, in an alternate ending which only exists on a 8mm stored under Gary Sinise's bed, depicting Jim Lovell being executed on the moon in a situation reminiscent of the ending to another Gary Sinise classic "Of Mice and Men". As for it's ability to quell Gary Sinise's insane impulses? Well, we will find out when I get you the real scoop behind the Green Mile...