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8/25/2017

Scandinavian submarine murder, what you need to know

While most people like to claim that Submarines history began somewhere between the the late 18th and 19th century, in truth, like North American colonization, it began in the 8th century by vikings. plying the seas in their Koskind-boble, trading, hunting, and of course murdering people, especially balladeers who got in their way. The proud tradition of private submarine ownership and operation, though unknown to non-vikings/Scandinavians, is a secret brotherhood of ancient submariners whose greatest sacrosanct truth is that loose lips sink ships, and that lye pickled Greenland shark is just about the most wonderful thing you've ever heard about a human putting in their mouth, the beloved Kaestur Hakarl, making up an obscene portion of these Odin worshiping, under-sea exploring, paranoid murderers of the Baltic and North Atlantic's diet.

What started as a love for mildly toxic shark meat, led to a murderous obsession


90% of Submarine Murder investigators, and 70% dolphins trying to pass as humans agree, Scandinavian Submarine murders are woefully under-reported, and generally attributed to "The Kraken", which is also the call sign for a Ham-Radio Operator on a pirate submarine operating off the coast of Iceland, who spends his winters murdering loud people, and snowmobile operators. Like whale songs their ghostly chorus's of "It's a Long Way to Tipperary" can be heard from thousands of miles away, but any one of them whoever speaks of it is dismembered and jettisoned.

It is more of a metaphor than a practical device


While most people would like to believe submarines where built with noble intention, to better understand dolphins, and perhaps sell them textiles, but thanks to German intervention the 1000-year arc of Scandinavian Submarine development, so much of it secret and unknown to anyone, and of course the Germans focused on the murder aspect of it (Yes, Americans had built submarines, but they where whimsical machines of martial folly, not tools of mass destruction) and from 1914 till now, that is what it is best known for, like how the Secret Service is supposed to be all about combating fraud and counterfeiting, but instead wastes all their resources on protecting famous and influential politicians, the primary use of the Submarine became state sponsored murder!

Now, as Peter Madsen, a name I would have chosen if I was inventing a pale methodical murderer from a North Atlantic nation, has murdered a journalist on his submarine, and now the world cares. Perhaps now the world will finally look at the "Non-Existent" world of privately, psychopath, owned submarines roving the North Atlantic... and occasionally the Mediterranean.