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| It was the only way an exhausted Jared Kushner could keep Trump from live-tweeting the whole thing |
The KKK obviously referring to Kushner (Jared), Kushner (Ivanka), and Kelly, also known as the only thing keeping Trump from sounding like everyone of us while drunkenly dancing in the bathroom mirror after a bad break up while listening to talk radio, who must do everything in their power to keep Trump from tweeting about the indictment of Manafort and Gates, former campaign manager and campaign deputy for Trump. The White House, with all fingers crossed hopes to stick to the script, that this has nothing to do with Trump himself, which is disingenuous and infuriating, but still the best way to play it, but one can already sense Trump foaming at the mouth and air-tweeting his response, who knows if the strength of a retired general, the President's grown daughter, and the effete son of a total piece of garbage can hold down an enraged fully grown Trump if he sees Gates and Manafort make their initial appearance in DC courts, on FOX News.
While KKK and Associates had hoped to secure a lock of Hillary Clinton's hair from Martin Shkreli to waft under Trumps nose whenever he got distracted or agitated, they have had to make do with, on a rotating basis, to whisper "Crooked Hillary" in his ear from 1am till 4am, the only time the ectothermic president leaves his heated twitter throne to sleep. Additionally, Kushner has been paying off an intern at FOX and friends to funnel him their advertising schedule to avoid him viewing attack adds aimed at infuriating the President into saying and doing stupid things that will get him impeached, and sprinkling ground-up Flintstones vitamins onto the Presidents cheeseburgers to help moderate his emotions and mood. Lastly, the K.K.K. will, if all other methods fail, and the President seems hell bent on sinking all their fortunes with his mad internet rambling, the Kushners have agreed to hold Trump down while Kelly mangles the Presidents hands with a sledge hammer, for the sake of the President, Party, and Nation.