Trump ruins a child's birthday party

Not again

Donald Trump was rushed from a residential home engulfed in flames after twitter spat with a suburban Soccer mom predictably spiraled out of control, and left a birthday boy and his family homeless. It also turns out that the President has used children's parties to settle many scores in his personal, political and businesses life, but has used mountains of hush money, private investigator, and one very unsettling calm psychopath, to keep this fact from the media and law. Furthermore, immediately after being escorted from the property by secret service, the President Tweeted:

"Dillans mom is a whore, all I added was that she would probably enjoy being raped by a Mexican on account of her husband, I defended myself, if you call me an @$$hole, I set fire to your child's BP, and impede the arrival of the fire dept with my motorcade, god bless  #MAGA  "

It should be noted, Arnoldo, Dillan's father, is Puerto Rican, and a very gentle human being, and that even as the fire was being put out Trump stuck around to encourage people to crap on the Jimenez's lawn, and "if they have balls" to beat their pets to death, tweeting a gif of a dog being beaten to death from a banned Czech pet snuff site, that had been archived on "Alt-Right Nazi Nation", which the president reads for unspecified context.

While the racist name calling and bald allusions to rape after an obvious attempt to intimidate a suburban mom by showing up at her child's birthday party to insist on a boxing match with her 7-year old son, this reporter would like to take a moment to focus on the 7-Year old Dillan Jimenez, who defeated a 71 year old man, standing at 6 foot 2 inches, in under a minute, and we were able to get this written response from Dillan:

" I really liked beating up the President, he is a jerk who tries to make my mom cry, and then he did set our house on fire while he was crying after we fought, but I got to punch him a lot of times, in his balls, in his face, his throat, and kidney's, after a little bit my mom made me stop punching him. I wish I was still punching him, and I could punch him as long as I like, even if he got a few in I would still enjoy punching him, and even though he burned all my birthday presents, I got to punch the President! When I grow up I might be a boxer, but I don't know if I like punching people who aren't Trump, but if I do become a boxer, I will be a famous one, because I already beat up the President."

The statement was included with a crayon picture of Dillan kicking Trump while he is curled up on the ground crying, while Dillan's house burns in the background.