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| "Stuck in the Middle With You" Is more of a torture song than an interrogation one |
Yet, Deputy Director of the National Clandestine Services Greg Vogel, probably an alias for a much cooler name like Max Rostrum or Hugh Debonair, has reported that, despite exhaustive clandestine studies, and practical experience, it has been proven the Kansas's Opus and Guitar Hero favorite "Carry Onward my Wayward Son" can not break the human spirit under any circumstances. In fact, the song can only strengthen ones will to resist, and prisoners have been witnessed air-guitaring with their hands under restraints, while being electrocuted and/or waterboarded, along with the song.
Deputy Director Vogel went onto explain that " Whether it is the uplifting instrumentals, the story of a misunderstood character on a divine, heaven bound quest resonating with prisoners, or their joyous synergy, the song just inspires endlessly, regardless of the method of transmission, or number of repetitions", while also clarifying that I can't just refer to him as Klaus Von Titan.
Klaus continued by saying " We had previously thought the Foreigners "Juke Box Hero" and The Who's "Behind Blue Eyes" had similar properties, until we pumped subjects full of 400 ug's of LSD, and sent them through a maze of mirrors lit with disco lights, and a tandem fog/bubble generator running full blast, especially if we have childhood home videos to project through the mist." Noting that experiments, and free-form interrogations carried out by psychopathic agents, soldiers, mercenaries, and thugs on the run, who managed to get a few minutes alone with a subject, are ongoing.