Trumpledore

He already has the support of Grand Wizards, and  he already sold his soul to help restructure some debt

After admitting that the only way he could possible become president is if he influences an unhinged armed man to assassinate his rival, kind of like how how a super-pac can't coordinate with their candidate, wink, wink, nudge, nudge say no more. Admitting that only with a heavy does of magical realism could he possibly win in November, a topic he went off at in front a crowd that had gathered in an abandoned car park, quickly forgetting the realism aspect and showing that lack of basic knowledge and judgement that has so far characterized his oratory the candidate explained how he had always wanted to be a wizard, and felt that he could wield the best kinds of magic, that owning Trump University basically makes him just like Albus Dumbldore, then seemed to get confused about the difference between the KKK and D& D, before going on a 45 minute rant about how elves are a bunch of fags, underlining his point by prancing about the stage in an effete manner that he seemingly believes is elf like. His anti-elfen rant was so over the top that even some Trump supporters, even those entirely buying into his new fantasy, couldn't bring themselves to clap for the much more palatable idea of walling off the Orcs, before mentioning his personal admiration for Sauron, but thought he needed to get tougher, smarter and stronger.

Discarded Campaign Poster #1

The ideas of having the two Clintons tag team wrestle Trump/Pence, as well as having Donald and Hillary Wrestle in inflatable sumo suits, and campaigning for the title for a male spouse of the president to be "Pappa Roach" were also rejected 

Clinton "just wanted to @#$% Muslims"

In an unusual display of candor an exasperated and exhausted Hillary Clinton, in the wake of her husband questioning the loyalty of Muslim Americans, had this to say:

" He's not Islamophobic for @#$% sake, he just wanted to lower the self esteem of all Muslims so he could @#$% a select few at will, he has nothing against Allah or his prophet Muhammad, he just wanted to @#$% Muslims, when its about sex you forgive him! When its about sex you forgive everyone! [breaks down sobbing]"

A clearly depleted and probably inebriated Clinton was led off stage while she deliriously sang "The Star Spangled Banner" after a series of events orchestrated by a band of mice who are also ardent Bernie Sanders supporters, and who have, through heroics and deed unparalleled in mouse adventures,  successfully sabotaged Hillary Clinton's  campaign for President and specifically her coronation and show of unity at the DNC. Their antics and their attenuating payoff might seem trivial, but when carried out unseen, by mice, the psychological effect can be devastating.

You don't want to know the sick antisemitic shit he had to say to get her in the sack

Erdogan now front runner for "Hitler of the Year"

Between the amoral consummate party player and the out of control blustering populist id in America, as well as growing xenophobia in the UK, white Anglo's were thought to be a shoe in for "Hitler of the Year" until Erdogan "Coup". Of those who are unaware of the "Hitler of the Year" Award, they are chosen for their: Disregard for democratic institution, the subversion of legal safeguards, as well as about 213 completely secrete and esoteric criteria known only to the Hierarchy, and are in turn used to control the population, and bend them to the popular will.

Tens of thousands of Turkish citizens: School teachers, college professors, police Judges etc. are being detained, raped, tortured, and sever travel restriction have been placed on millions more, after a nebulous, short lived and seemingly harmless Coup on July 15th which seems to have given the President that would be Dictator a Casus Belli against all his enemies,no matter their actual involvement in the coup, after a suspicious incident where the nations parliament was bombed.

Here are what some contenders had to say about this upset:

"Hitler was powerful man, with a beautiful wife, who had the best' guns, the best planes, the best missiles, now am I going to go around killing Jews and Homosexuals, well yeah, but not because they are Jews and Homosexuals, so perhaps I wasn't running for the spot, but I woulda scrapbooked it" Trump said before tipping a wheelchair bound veteran into the crowd below while crying in anger over losing, despite the trivial nature of the award.

Trump went on to promise, if elected, he wouldn't be a Hitler, he would 10 of the best Hitlers, 1933-42 Hitlers, its going to be yuuuge

The Clinton campaign downplayed this slight to her endless lust for power, they chose to play offended "Hillary is an avowed and staunch Stalinist, and as such has a particular antipathy and sensitivity towards Nazism and Hitler in particular " they reported to Pravda, though sources around the former first lady report a considerable uptick in arbitrary summary executions of staff.

While we understand she was angry, she didn't have to do what she did to that intern, on her birthday

MP Boris Johnson was, as of press time, too involved with a maniacal scheme to drive Theresa May insane by sneaking his hyper-sexual feline familiar "Palmerston" into 10 Downing street, forcing the Prime Minister to furiously call the police to eject the protected and famous feline while a barely obscured Johnson giggled from the bushes outside.

While there are still four plus months and a US election before the final tally is in, and Hitler-esque leaders are known for their lighting fast moves, and explosive defeats. Yet, as of late July, there is no leader who has seized so much power, so eroded the independence and power of important institutions, and systematically and brutally crushing all opposition, which is what a leader must do to be "Hitler of the Year".