Hillary Clinton proposes "The State"

As part of The State, all nourishment must be obtained from random citizens via an apparatus which is also called "The State", and then thank the stranger on behalf of The State, as explained in a PSA by Robert De Niro,

Understanding that a Trump resurgence, either during the election or as an armed insurrection after the fact, is just one slam dunk performance of "Edelweiss" away. Hillary Clinton has proposed an all encompassing plan for national reform, welcome to "The State", you are going to love it, because you have to.

Here a Hillary supporter can be seen practicing voter predation 

Hillary will be reinstating indigenous labor reforms by instituting the Encomienda system nation wide, allowing Democratic Party members to "protect" the "weak" in exchange for "services", a system Bill Clinton has used with his interns for decades. "The Votes" will work for the party members, canvasing communities, handing out fliers, manning booths at party events, and acting as the "Honeypot" in complicated blackmail schemes. In return "The Votes" will be given a thorough education in party doctrine, and propaganda to be disseminated to the unassigned.

Here the children will learn the art, they will learn to love it, they will learn to obey it, and to reproduce the likeness of Hillary in at least 6 different State approved poses  

Still looking to Americas glorious past for solutions to today's problems, children over the age of 7 will be raised in Carlisle Industrial Schools, out of the reach of their crypto-Trumpian parents, to be given a proper political and occupational education by squads of Clinton Foundation staffers, proudly living their motto "Kill the conservative, save the gender neutral inductee". Whether or not the tuberculosis epidemics will be incidental or intentional, is still undecided.

But where will the Hillary Supporters of tomorrow live? Not with the rabble I hope!

Lastly, for now, the establishment of Fraktion Stadte's (Faction Cities), manned by peasant soldiers fully indoctrinated in Democratic dogma, separated from the General Population to maintain their ideological purity,  shall be established at strategic locations around the country. The purpose of these pre-planned fortified cities will be to act as a bulwark against subversives at home, model the perfect community for the unwashed and unenlightened, and to keep Trumpian civilization from reanimating over the Alleghenies...or Sierra Nevada's, you know, the middle part.

Trumpledore

He already has the support of Grand Wizards, and  he already sold his soul to help restructure some debt

After admitting that the only way he could possible become president is if he influences an unhinged armed man to assassinate his rival, kind of like how how a super-pac can't coordinate with their candidate, wink, wink, nudge, nudge say no more. Admitting that only with a heavy does of magical realism could he possibly win in November, a topic he went off at in front a crowd that had gathered in an abandoned car park, quickly forgetting the realism aspect and showing that lack of basic knowledge and judgement that has so far characterized his oratory the candidate explained how he had always wanted to be a wizard, and felt that he could wield the best kinds of magic, that owning Trump University basically makes him just like Albus Dumbldore, then seemed to get confused about the difference between the KKK and D& D, before going on a 45 minute rant about how elves are a bunch of fags, underlining his point by prancing about the stage in an effete manner that he seemingly believes is elf like. His anti-elfen rant was so over the top that even some Trump supporters, even those entirely buying into his new fantasy, couldn't bring themselves to clap for the much more palatable idea of walling off the Orcs, before mentioning his personal admiration for Sauron, but thought he needed to get tougher, smarter and stronger.

Discarded Campaign Poster #1

The ideas of having the two Clintons tag team wrestle Trump/Pence, as well as having Donald and Hillary Wrestle in inflatable sumo suits, and campaigning for the title for a male spouse of the president to be "Pappa Roach" were also rejected 

Clinton "just wanted to @#$% Muslims"

In an unusual display of candor an exasperated and exhausted Hillary Clinton, in the wake of her husband questioning the loyalty of Muslim Americans, had this to say:

" He's not Islamophobic for @#$% sake, he just wanted to lower the self esteem of all Muslims so he could @#$% a select few at will, he has nothing against Allah or his prophet Muhammad, he just wanted to @#$% Muslims, when its about sex you forgive him! When its about sex you forgive everyone! [breaks down sobbing]"

A clearly depleted and probably inebriated Clinton was led off stage while she deliriously sang "The Star Spangled Banner" after a series of events orchestrated by a band of mice who are also ardent Bernie Sanders supporters, and who have, through heroics and deed unparalleled in mouse adventures,  successfully sabotaged Hillary Clinton's  campaign for President and specifically her coronation and show of unity at the DNC. Their antics and their attenuating payoff might seem trivial, but when carried out unseen, by mice, the psychological effect can be devastating.

You don't want to know the sick antisemitic shit he had to say to get her in the sack