Count down to the Fourth of July
Okay people why do we pay for the Packaging? Those vegetables next to the steak that are never eaten and they're for purely aesthetic purposes? Public education? Because we as Americans love to waste things others would love, because it makes us feel good about ourselves; and makes starting a fight so much easier. We consume not out of negligence or gluttony, oh no, we do it so those we hate can't get it, and boy do we hate. In short if Americans have something you want, we took it not because we wanted it but because we didn't want you to have it.
Happy Fourth of July Muthafukas' [possessive because I own you]
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6/30/2005
6/27/2005
More America! Less logic, please!
Nationalism: Is it enough?
No, I mean seriously people this is America. Most nations can get away with a misplaced sense of social purpose and cohesion, but we as Americans need 2 to 3 times more then any other peoples just to live! I kid you not. My plan involves the creation of a national G-d,lets just call it "The Lone Gunman" and we will sacrifice the elderly to its effigy as a form of communal bonding and caring. Of course this will will barely slake his thirst for human blood as he is a Dark and hungry G-d, a consumer of souls and bringer of doom. So my ideas is to build pyramids where captives can be brought and their blood poured into stone Idol of the Lone Gunman's mouth to slake his divine thirsts. Yeah this is going to work just fine...
No, I mean seriously people this is America. Most nations can get away with a misplaced sense of social purpose and cohesion, but we as Americans need 2 to 3 times more then any other peoples just to live! I kid you not. My plan involves the creation of a national G-d,lets just call it "The Lone Gunman" and we will sacrifice the elderly to its effigy as a form of communal bonding and caring. Of course this will will barely slake his thirst for human blood as he is a Dark and hungry G-d, a consumer of souls and bringer of doom. So my ideas is to build pyramids where captives can be brought and their blood poured into stone Idol of the Lone Gunman's mouth to slake his divine thirsts. Yeah this is going to work just fine...
10 things to do in the UK
10) Fight Redcoats (more for the dudes).
9) Remind them how we saved them in "The War," don't be specific.
8) Everytime you see a British Person Yell "its Mr.Bean!" they think its cool.
7) Say everything in a dinner theater Shakespearean voice.
6) Ask them about the Empire.
5) Whenever they use a British Colloquialism take on a blank expression for a minute until they explain it, they love to explain.
4) Start an industrial revolution.
3) Engage in an over stylized crime or heist.
2) Take embarrassing pictures of a member of the royal family For the papers and/or blackmail.
1) Steal an Elgin Marble, for the Turks!
9) Remind them how we saved them in "The War," don't be specific.
8) Everytime you see a British Person Yell "its Mr.Bean!" they think its cool.
7) Say everything in a dinner theater Shakespearean voice.
6) Ask them about the Empire.
5) Whenever they use a British Colloquialism take on a blank expression for a minute until they explain it, they love to explain.
4) Start an industrial revolution.
3) Engage in an over stylized crime or heist.
2) Take embarrassing pictures of a member of the royal family For the papers and/or blackmail.
1) Steal an Elgin Marble, for the Turks!
6/23/2005
To my friends in "kultured" society...Part I
Freedom: Its just too hard!
As we have all known for years freedom isn't free, and liberty has nothing to do with liberalism. I am glad that our Supreme court has finally realized we're just not up to making our own choices, and I am not talking about the right to choose because that is a misnomer, its just the right to scratch out a personal mistake on your life's rap sheet. No, finally the government, and its associated shadowy organizations have decided to make our lives so much easier.
1) No more states rights - The Supreme court has come down squarely on the side of our current old white men, instead of the documents left to us by smarter, kinder, more sensible old white men who thought that the feds should let the states do their thing. The " Fuzz" as I will now refer to the supreme court has decided the 1/5th of the nation has no right to choose which medications they will allow their doctors to proscribe, of course those ten states and strangely enough, much of the Deep south came out in favor of the states right to regulate the health care of its citizens. I am of course talking about the medical Marijuana laws, which the government thinks is a dire threat to this nations interstate drug problem. That's right the Fuzz thinks Chronically ill patients growing their own medication (or having a care taker grow it for them) for personal use entirely within the state is a interstate commerce issue, I mean that's what the Constitution was talking about, Right?
2) A mild distaste for G-d - Yeah we all hate G-d, but we have to give him props, he did invent the first non-oppressive, impartial codes of law in human history. Yet for some reason this historically significant widely known symbol of Law and Justice has no place inside a US court house. Outside a courthouse sure, because that's were universally accepted innate laws belong, outside a courthouse.
3)Copyright Infringement,it's a good reason to shut down helpful services- Alright, I don't usually get mad but when some one gets in the way of my Music, TV, and porn habit, I get mad. The Fuzz seems to think that if an object or service is incidentally used for possibly illegal purposes, of course failing to mention the copyright creep that the Music industry has been performing for the last century, then it is obviuosly illegal. When the first copyright laws were made it was only for 17 yrs, then when the Sheet music industry got off the ground in the late 19th century it slowly started creeping forward till it is currently a 100+ years for a corporate property, and 75 years after persons death if a person owns it. I mean the UN is bitching and whining over US patents on drugs they spent Billions creating and that only last 17 yrs, yet Walt Disney gets 125 years on a highly profitable mouse drawing. Now in addition to hounding teens with teams of lawyers on barely legal grounds, they can shut down services which by design are breaking no law, and only a collection of other people can make it in any way or form Copyright infringement. I mean the line in the constitution that even made Copyrights a legal idea is where it says in Sectiona 8. Clause 8. " To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries." I seriously don't understand how making a new technology illegal, and there by stunting the growth of other industries, is covered in this, but as in all things I am sure the Fuzz knows best.
4)Land rights, the founding fathers didn't care about that right? - Well the Supreme court seems to think the building of a Commercial parking lot is a good reason to allow the government to evict families and communities from their home, to confiscate their property, for the sake of commercial development; not to build something for public use, but to take it for others use. Yeah, can't see how that could be abused, or how that might be unfairly disruptive to peoples lives, yup, looks entirely legit to me.
Anyway I could go on and on about our governments near constant abuse of our rights and the subtle erosion of our abilities to live our lives as we see fit, but instead I'm going to go read Mrs. Lindbergh's "The Wave of the Future," because at this rate that's where we're going.
As we have all known for years freedom isn't free, and liberty has nothing to do with liberalism. I am glad that our Supreme court has finally realized we're just not up to making our own choices, and I am not talking about the right to choose because that is a misnomer, its just the right to scratch out a personal mistake on your life's rap sheet. No, finally the government, and its associated shadowy organizations have decided to make our lives so much easier.
1) No more states rights - The Supreme court has come down squarely on the side of our current old white men, instead of the documents left to us by smarter, kinder, more sensible old white men who thought that the feds should let the states do their thing. The " Fuzz" as I will now refer to the supreme court has decided the 1/5th of the nation has no right to choose which medications they will allow their doctors to proscribe, of course those ten states and strangely enough, much of the Deep south came out in favor of the states right to regulate the health care of its citizens. I am of course talking about the medical Marijuana laws, which the government thinks is a dire threat to this nations interstate drug problem. That's right the Fuzz thinks Chronically ill patients growing their own medication (or having a care taker grow it for them) for personal use entirely within the state is a interstate commerce issue, I mean that's what the Constitution was talking about, Right?
2) A mild distaste for G-d - Yeah we all hate G-d, but we have to give him props, he did invent the first non-oppressive, impartial codes of law in human history. Yet for some reason this historically significant widely known symbol of Law and Justice has no place inside a US court house. Outside a courthouse sure, because that's were universally accepted innate laws belong, outside a courthouse.
3)Copyright Infringement,it's a good reason to shut down helpful services- Alright, I don't usually get mad but when some one gets in the way of my Music, TV, and porn habit, I get mad. The Fuzz seems to think that if an object or service is incidentally used for possibly illegal purposes, of course failing to mention the copyright creep that the Music industry has been performing for the last century, then it is obviuosly illegal. When the first copyright laws were made it was only for 17 yrs, then when the Sheet music industry got off the ground in the late 19th century it slowly started creeping forward till it is currently a 100+ years for a corporate property, and 75 years after persons death if a person owns it. I mean the UN is bitching and whining over US patents on drugs they spent Billions creating and that only last 17 yrs, yet Walt Disney gets 125 years on a highly profitable mouse drawing. Now in addition to hounding teens with teams of lawyers on barely legal grounds, they can shut down services which by design are breaking no law, and only a collection of other people can make it in any way or form Copyright infringement. I mean the line in the constitution that even made Copyrights a legal idea is where it says in Sectiona 8. Clause 8. " To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries." I seriously don't understand how making a new technology illegal, and there by stunting the growth of other industries, is covered in this, but as in all things I am sure the Fuzz knows best.
4)Land rights, the founding fathers didn't care about that right? - Well the Supreme court seems to think the building of a Commercial parking lot is a good reason to allow the government to evict families and communities from their home, to confiscate their property, for the sake of commercial development; not to build something for public use, but to take it for others use. Yeah, can't see how that could be abused, or how that might be unfairly disruptive to peoples lives, yup, looks entirely legit to me.
Anyway I could go on and on about our governments near constant abuse of our rights and the subtle erosion of our abilities to live our lives as we see fit, but instead I'm going to go read Mrs. Lindbergh's "The Wave of the Future," because at this rate that's where we're going.
6/19/2005
Coach McGuirk: Personal Hero
McGuirk, a proud crude man full of wisdom. His grandeur rivaled that of Rome,yet the show he starred on has been cancelled so I will leave you with a few gems of McGuirk wisdom.
-Brendon there's nothing wrong with lying to women. Or the government. Or parents. Or God.
-I've been all over the world, Brendon, except for Europe. And Asia...And South America, I haven't been to there yet.
-Remember, You made someone do something bad with swords.
-[looking at a bald child with an oxygen ventilator] I love this kid. He's like a chipmunk with a disease.
-[explaining why he still has his Job]You have to be certified or something? Yeah, I'm not. You can become coach, of a sport that you don't care about, you don't know how to play, you're not good with kids. But I have had the job for three years. You'd think that they would check up but they don't.
-I'll race / To feel the wind in my face / And I'll race / To feel alive / And I'll race / To feel like I own this place / And I'll race until I die / And I'll race against the other racers / And I'll race with one big shout / And I'll race against the clock / And I'll race against myself / And I'll race / And I'll race!
-[Brendons dog has just destroyed McGuirk's Bonsai tree]Get off my property Brendon!
-Brendon there's nothing wrong with lying to women. Or the government. Or parents. Or God.
-I've been all over the world, Brendon, except for Europe. And Asia...And South America, I haven't been to there yet.
-Remember, You made someone do something bad with swords.
-[looking at a bald child with an oxygen ventilator] I love this kid. He's like a chipmunk with a disease.
-[explaining why he still has his Job]You have to be certified or something? Yeah, I'm not. You can become coach, of a sport that you don't care about, you don't know how to play, you're not good with kids. But I have had the job for three years. You'd think that they would check up but they don't.
-I'll race / To feel the wind in my face / And I'll race / To feel alive / And I'll race / To feel like I own this place / And I'll race until I die / And I'll race against the other racers / And I'll race with one big shout / And I'll race against the clock / And I'll race against myself / And I'll race / And I'll race!
-[Brendons dog has just destroyed McGuirk's Bonsai tree]Get off my property Brendon!
6/16/2005
Why the Caged clown sings
By our Accountant Flanbert Urkmen
(New York--10/23/03) I am a clown, theirs no escaping it. My 16 inch shoes, flaming red hair and white face with my huge, squeaky, bulbous, red nose- no amount of make up can cover up what I am. I am also an accountant, and there are those that think that this is a contradiction in terms. I call those people inbred racist Dixicrats, mostly because I have no sense of humor and I am quick to anger. Most people think of being a clown is a profession, but actually Circus clowns are just people dressing up to enact bigoted minstrel shows based on real life clowns. I want to set the record straight about one of America’s most underrepresented minorities, the biological clown.
I am Flanbert Urkmen, I was born in Biggem, Nebraska in 1974, to a white father and a clown mother, who suffered from depression. Depression is an all to common ailment among clowns, who generally suffer from bipolar disorders either being insanely happy or morbidly sad, always a tear perched just below their eye. My mother’s depression eventually caused her to hang herself with an inflated balloon which she shaped into a noose. Clown suicides, deaths, and murders are often underreported and ignored as the methods are more often then not hilarious. Few officers can maintain a straight face telling how a clown choked to death on an endless handkerchief rope, so America laughs as the death toll rises. I grew up in a relatively large clown community, so about 37 of us would carpool to school in an old beetle, and I lived a sheltered life amongst good clown - loving people. I lived this sheltered life until I tried to attend college in New York City. A small group of psychotic clowns such as Joker, Sweet Tooth and It have created a negative bias regarding Clowns in popular media, and clowns such as Bozo and most circus clown impersonators have painted a picture of a clown that is both obnoxious and mildly retarded, excluding us from all but a few vocational Clown specific Colleges, which are often referred to by the popular slang of “Clown Colleges”. My guidance councilor had left out my ethnicity when he had sent in my NYU submission, instead putting me down as a deformed albino since he thought it would garner less hatred and resentment, as we seem to bring up feelings of racial hatred from everyone except the Inuit and certain Indonesians tribes, mostly those residing in Timor. In general, though, we have been expelled from almost all lands when the locals were tired of laughing at us, hunted by wild animals. Many clown tribes had no choice but to band with Beast masters and magicians for protection, traveling with their menageries in massive vaulted tents, making a living as entertainers.
Most actual clowns were killed off during the crusades, because clowns were, for no good reason, considered infidels just because the presence of the cross causes our skin to smoke and any mention of Christ causes our feline pupils to dilate as we instinctively hiss “unclean.” This is a purely instinctive reaction, no more freewill then a cough or murdering children in the caves of small seaside hamlets. Nonetheless most of us were exterminated, which caused many individuals from the tribe of Mime to suffer post traumatic stress syndrome, and always silently thinking things are there when they are not, or that the invisible walls of their self - constructed prison are closing in on them. They see themselves as pitiful, hated beings, like Jerry Lewis, and like Jerry Lewis they are only tolerated by the French. Why are we so hated, who wants to harm such annoyingly benign creatures as the overly social and flamboyant clown? Well it’s quite simple, The Man is keeping us down.
That’s right the infamous oppressor “The Man” has used his malignant powers of persuasion to systematically destroy our image and keep us third class citizens. Third class citizens are those that aren’t even given the recognition of existing in a horrible limbo - like existence that luckily only us and Big Foot have had to endure. The man is a tall, rich, white, old, Southern, fat, man who lives in a hermetically sealed bubble that is transported by oversized 1950’s style experimental aircrafts and airships. He uses his dark segregated tower of despair some where in the desert outside of Las Vegas as his vile lair, oppressing all non-white male Protestant peoples in his singularly nebulous way that can never be truly identified and therefore almost all unknown indignities of the vast sea of oppressed minorities are attributed to this depraved creation of middle America. Using perfectly constructed grammar, he disseminates his will to the various political parties, and the Illuminati. How can we simple minorities possibly stand up to this awesome creation, this embodiment of mainstream bigotry? The answer is, of course, getting involved in fringe leftist pseudo communist organizations decrying important and helpful institutions whose only crime is serving the mainstream instead of small minorities and niche organizations, setting up rallies to compare relatively benign leaders and activities with those of the Nazis for oodles of shock value, and making hateful and senseless statements at the expense of the majority.
I of course had no need to do any of that as I was registered as a deformed albino, and since America was coming to terms with the self proclaimed deformed albino Michael Jackson, shifting their views from love and awe to fear and revulsion, I was able to take accounting at NYU in peace and even get a good paying job, as it seems accounting firms don’t have enough personality to be able to hate. So why spend all this time decrying the situation of the clown even though it never really caused me personally any pain or sorrow? Well, that’s just another aspect of us clowns, we seem to make a big production out of everything. So, to answer your question, yes, I am from NYU. Now, enough clowning around. [He just started hooting and laughing bouncing down the street].
(New York--10/23/03) I am a clown, theirs no escaping it. My 16 inch shoes, flaming red hair and white face with my huge, squeaky, bulbous, red nose- no amount of make up can cover up what I am. I am also an accountant, and there are those that think that this is a contradiction in terms. I call those people inbred racist Dixicrats, mostly because I have no sense of humor and I am quick to anger. Most people think of being a clown is a profession, but actually Circus clowns are just people dressing up to enact bigoted minstrel shows based on real life clowns. I want to set the record straight about one of America’s most underrepresented minorities, the biological clown.
I am Flanbert Urkmen, I was born in Biggem, Nebraska in 1974, to a white father and a clown mother, who suffered from depression. Depression is an all to common ailment among clowns, who generally suffer from bipolar disorders either being insanely happy or morbidly sad, always a tear perched just below their eye. My mother’s depression eventually caused her to hang herself with an inflated balloon which she shaped into a noose. Clown suicides, deaths, and murders are often underreported and ignored as the methods are more often then not hilarious. Few officers can maintain a straight face telling how a clown choked to death on an endless handkerchief rope, so America laughs as the death toll rises. I grew up in a relatively large clown community, so about 37 of us would carpool to school in an old beetle, and I lived a sheltered life amongst good clown - loving people. I lived this sheltered life until I tried to attend college in New York City. A small group of psychotic clowns such as Joker, Sweet Tooth and It have created a negative bias regarding Clowns in popular media, and clowns such as Bozo and most circus clown impersonators have painted a picture of a clown that is both obnoxious and mildly retarded, excluding us from all but a few vocational Clown specific Colleges, which are often referred to by the popular slang of “Clown Colleges”. My guidance councilor had left out my ethnicity when he had sent in my NYU submission, instead putting me down as a deformed albino since he thought it would garner less hatred and resentment, as we seem to bring up feelings of racial hatred from everyone except the Inuit and certain Indonesians tribes, mostly those residing in Timor. In general, though, we have been expelled from almost all lands when the locals were tired of laughing at us, hunted by wild animals. Many clown tribes had no choice but to band with Beast masters and magicians for protection, traveling with their menageries in massive vaulted tents, making a living as entertainers.
Most actual clowns were killed off during the crusades, because clowns were, for no good reason, considered infidels just because the presence of the cross causes our skin to smoke and any mention of Christ causes our feline pupils to dilate as we instinctively hiss “unclean.” This is a purely instinctive reaction, no more freewill then a cough or murdering children in the caves of small seaside hamlets. Nonetheless most of us were exterminated, which caused many individuals from the tribe of Mime to suffer post traumatic stress syndrome, and always silently thinking things are there when they are not, or that the invisible walls of their self - constructed prison are closing in on them. They see themselves as pitiful, hated beings, like Jerry Lewis, and like Jerry Lewis they are only tolerated by the French. Why are we so hated, who wants to harm such annoyingly benign creatures as the overly social and flamboyant clown? Well it’s quite simple, The Man is keeping us down.
That’s right the infamous oppressor “The Man” has used his malignant powers of persuasion to systematically destroy our image and keep us third class citizens. Third class citizens are those that aren’t even given the recognition of existing in a horrible limbo - like existence that luckily only us and Big Foot have had to endure. The man is a tall, rich, white, old, Southern, fat, man who lives in a hermetically sealed bubble that is transported by oversized 1950’s style experimental aircrafts and airships. He uses his dark segregated tower of despair some where in the desert outside of Las Vegas as his vile lair, oppressing all non-white male Protestant peoples in his singularly nebulous way that can never be truly identified and therefore almost all unknown indignities of the vast sea of oppressed minorities are attributed to this depraved creation of middle America. Using perfectly constructed grammar, he disseminates his will to the various political parties, and the Illuminati. How can we simple minorities possibly stand up to this awesome creation, this embodiment of mainstream bigotry? The answer is, of course, getting involved in fringe leftist pseudo communist organizations decrying important and helpful institutions whose only crime is serving the mainstream instead of small minorities and niche organizations, setting up rallies to compare relatively benign leaders and activities with those of the Nazis for oodles of shock value, and making hateful and senseless statements at the expense of the majority.
I of course had no need to do any of that as I was registered as a deformed albino, and since America was coming to terms with the self proclaimed deformed albino Michael Jackson, shifting their views from love and awe to fear and revulsion, I was able to take accounting at NYU in peace and even get a good paying job, as it seems accounting firms don’t have enough personality to be able to hate. So why spend all this time decrying the situation of the clown even though it never really caused me personally any pain or sorrow? Well, that’s just another aspect of us clowns, we seem to make a big production out of everything. So, to answer your question, yes, I am from NYU. Now, enough clowning around. [He just started hooting and laughing bouncing down the street].
When Super Hero's personal agendas get in the way
WASHINGTON, June 16 /PRNewswire/ -- A new report by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) estimates that Boston and Boulder, Colo., are among the areas with the highest rates of past month marijuana use ...
Hawkeye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hawkeye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6/11/2005
Marriage: Does G-d even care about you?
America loves heterosexual marriage, I mean its the only way to do it without making baby Jesus angry! Which is extremely important when we rely on him for the flooding of the Mississippi, success in war, and fertility. Yet people seem to want to attach more importance to this oldest of rituals, making the most solemn of vows center ring at societies freak show. Marriage without reason seems to be the soup of the day for modern culture. No matter a persons maturity, economic security, social stability, or level of actual seriousness they should marry if love is involved.
Of course in those situations where two sensible adults decide to make the ultimate commitment with clear heads and a sensible attitude it is a good thing, but almost nobody does this. Marriage has become nothing more then another rung in a increasingly antiquated courting process, when a couple moves beyond serious dating they look to marriage. Why? Can't one still be in love and yet still be completely unprepared for marriage, blundering into a new and alien territory with no desire to be there or the understanding to navigate it.
Maybe, perhaps, we as a society should start looking at marriage not purely as a expression of love, but as a expression of total compatibility. Through out ones life there are many individuals one will "love" yet you should only be marrying one person. The problem with this is a person can love another person yet still want to kill that person after living with them for a few months/years/decades. In short there are people you are compatible with, and there are people you will love, and there will be people you will want to marry, but you're so very stupid and don't deserve happiness so just give up. Go live in the mountains and hunt tourists and deer, live off the land, speak to the wind. Spend a unforgettable summer in the Andes robbing forgotten cities, and the fall spending your ill got gaines in a Moscow Brothel on whores and Heroin. Go from middle American City to City making right what once went wrong. Then once you have become self actualized through your worldly wandering, your bones ache and your soul is tired, come back to your home town and marry your sweetheart, because until then all happiness will allude you because you are weak.
Of course in those situations where two sensible adults decide to make the ultimate commitment with clear heads and a sensible attitude it is a good thing, but almost nobody does this. Marriage has become nothing more then another rung in a increasingly antiquated courting process, when a couple moves beyond serious dating they look to marriage. Why? Can't one still be in love and yet still be completely unprepared for marriage, blundering into a new and alien territory with no desire to be there or the understanding to navigate it.
Maybe, perhaps, we as a society should start looking at marriage not purely as a expression of love, but as a expression of total compatibility. Through out ones life there are many individuals one will "love" yet you should only be marrying one person. The problem with this is a person can love another person yet still want to kill that person after living with them for a few months/years/decades. In short there are people you are compatible with, and there are people you will love, and there will be people you will want to marry, but you're so very stupid and don't deserve happiness so just give up. Go live in the mountains and hunt tourists and deer, live off the land, speak to the wind. Spend a unforgettable summer in the Andes robbing forgotten cities, and the fall spending your ill got gaines in a Moscow Brothel on whores and Heroin. Go from middle American City to City making right what once went wrong. Then once you have become self actualized through your worldly wandering, your bones ache and your soul is tired, come back to your home town and marry your sweetheart, because until then all happiness will allude you because you are weak.
6/10/2005
Social Security: I mean what's with that!
It was a dark and stormy night when FDR was visited by a dark apparition, the same one that had promised him limitless power in return for his legs, and he needed one more favor before he could get it. What was it? The answer is entirely sexual and I won't go into it, but they did talk about the creatures ideas on Social policy while cuddling and then he told him about his big "Social Security" plan, and I am almost sure that's how it all happened.
Now you know the rest of the story.
Well, fastforward to current times, where a group of law makers unite for one purpose and one purpose alone. That purpose is to choose a few broad issues that apply to everyone and make a lot of noise and faux rage to justify their pay checks and the degree of power we trust with them. It turns out that according to some politically motivated think tank, is there any other kind, thinks that in 2017 Social Security will start running at a deficit and it will be bankrupt by 2041. First why don't we wait 12 years to see if any real problem that requires legislation actually evolves as analysts say it might, and then in that 24 year period of deficit prior to bankruptcy you can choose a method of doing something about it. I mean what reason can a person put forward towards patching up a agency that might in 36 years go bankrupt if at the moment it is completely solvent.
Now congress wants to raise the retirement age to save SS for when all members of Congress will be dead by ( Strom Thurmond was the last of a breed, now all senators are built in with designed obsolescence). That removes the one real benefit of SS, it encourages the old to retire making room for new workers, that was the original point.
Anyway, I could go on all day but in short, SS isn't something to be concerned about right now, and is just a tool of Lazy Senators trying to get out of doing the real business of the people.
Now you know the rest of the story.
Well, fastforward to current times, where a group of law makers unite for one purpose and one purpose alone. That purpose is to choose a few broad issues that apply to everyone and make a lot of noise and faux rage to justify their pay checks and the degree of power we trust with them. It turns out that according to some politically motivated think tank, is there any other kind, thinks that in 2017 Social Security will start running at a deficit and it will be bankrupt by 2041. First why don't we wait 12 years to see if any real problem that requires legislation actually evolves as analysts say it might, and then in that 24 year period of deficit prior to bankruptcy you can choose a method of doing something about it. I mean what reason can a person put forward towards patching up a agency that might in 36 years go bankrupt if at the moment it is completely solvent.
Now congress wants to raise the retirement age to save SS for when all members of Congress will be dead by ( Strom Thurmond was the last of a breed, now all senators are built in with designed obsolescence). That removes the one real benefit of SS, it encourages the old to retire making room for new workers, that was the original point.
Anyway, I could go on all day but in short, SS isn't something to be concerned about right now, and is just a tool of Lazy Senators trying to get out of doing the real business of the people.
6/07/2005
Niche Alcohol: Absinthe
After the Success of sideways I have come to an unavoidable conclusion, America loves its niche alcohol. What's better then getting drunk? Getting drunk on some mystery liquor that makes you feel important and exotic, well more so then Alcohol already makes you feel. In short I will spend the rest of this article enlightening you on an Alcohol called Absinthe.
Absinthe was originally sold as a stomach worm tincture back in the days when you could just bottle some odd tasting liquor or opiate and call it a tonic. Used by the French Army during their war in Algiers in the 1840's to help fight off heat stroke and stomach ailments. The soldiers, being poor uneducated Frenchmen brought back their love for this strange green drink and began indulging in it to the point of Caligula-like excess. By the end of the century it was the most widely produced and drunken spirits in the world.
The most famous of brands was Pernod, which unlike many other producers of far cheaper absinthes, didn't use dangerous additives like Silver Nitrate to create the drinks superior appearance and Louche. The Louche is a French word describing the affects of mixing water with Absinthe (which was part of its preparation), A proper louche would turn the drink a lighter color of green or even white and makes the water cloudy instead of transparent. The primary tastes of a Absinthe are Anise, Wormwood, Mint, and Hyssops though there is a great variety of tastes from brand to brand depending on their formula. Also the Thujone, a mild hallucinogen found in Wormwood, was said to add a feelings of clearheadedness and creativity on top of the effects of the alcohol.
Absinthe was banned through out the world, with the exception of Spain, UK, Portugal, and few eastern European nations, in the early part of the 20th century as part of the Prohibition movement. The EU permitted sales in the 1990's and Absinthe has seen a large increase in popularity after movies such as Moulin Rouge and From Hell helped popularize it.
If you would like to learn more about this Alcohol go to: http://www.feeverte.net/
Absinthe was originally sold as a stomach worm tincture back in the days when you could just bottle some odd tasting liquor or opiate and call it a tonic. Used by the French Army during their war in Algiers in the 1840's to help fight off heat stroke and stomach ailments. The soldiers, being poor uneducated Frenchmen brought back their love for this strange green drink and began indulging in it to the point of Caligula-like excess. By the end of the century it was the most widely produced and drunken spirits in the world.
The most famous of brands was Pernod, which unlike many other producers of far cheaper absinthes, didn't use dangerous additives like Silver Nitrate to create the drinks superior appearance and Louche. The Louche is a French word describing the affects of mixing water with Absinthe (which was part of its preparation), A proper louche would turn the drink a lighter color of green or even white and makes the water cloudy instead of transparent. The primary tastes of a Absinthe are Anise, Wormwood, Mint, and Hyssops though there is a great variety of tastes from brand to brand depending on their formula. Also the Thujone, a mild hallucinogen found in Wormwood, was said to add a feelings of clearheadedness and creativity on top of the effects of the alcohol.
Absinthe was banned through out the world, with the exception of Spain, UK, Portugal, and few eastern European nations, in the early part of the 20th century as part of the Prohibition movement. The EU permitted sales in the 1990's and Absinthe has seen a large increase in popularity after movies such as Moulin Rouge and From Hell helped popularize it.
If you would like to learn more about this Alcohol go to: http://www.feeverte.net/
Dave Chappelle: Will he rock our world?
I hypothesize yes. He has come to mean a lot to so many of us, also he is one of the few people I like to hear from who has not died within the last year, it has been a very lethal year so far. Now while his May 31st date to start his 3rd season has passed, and he ran off to Africa unannounced, things remain unchanged. What most of Americans don't realize is this is what cool people do, giving notice of intent to go somewhere is for pussies. The man makes comedy, do you make people laugh and then spend money for DVDs of what they saw to laugh once again, do you? Surprisingly, only a few people had to get smashed in the balls for it to be made, and almost none of those where on screen, he's that good.
Three reasons he's better then Chris Rock:
-Dave Chappelle is not a Rapist.
-Chris Rock's voice has a real world effect on national demographic studies on suicide, while Mr.Chappelle's voice is a beautiful smoke cured D.C. scratch.
- Mr. Chappelle never starred in Head of State.
I am also required to mention somewhere here that he is Rick James Bitch!
Three reasons he's better then Chris Rock:
-Dave Chappelle is not a Rapist.
-Chris Rock's voice has a real world effect on national demographic studies on suicide, while Mr.Chappelle's voice is a beautiful smoke cured D.C. scratch.
- Mr. Chappelle never starred in Head of State.
I am also required to mention somewhere here that he is Rick James Bitch!
6/03/2005
Middle Earth: A Multicultural look
We all loved the books and the movies and dressing up as the characters during sex, but is Middle Earth a racist quagmire perpetuating centuries of cycling violence and hatred. For the purpose of exposition I will say it is.
Mordor: Racial Ghetto
The Orcs, Guys from "The South" who ride Elephants (or Oliphants, whatever) whoever that could be alluding to, and Jewish Pirates (I mean look at them), in addition to Saurumons race baiting of the Hill people (Allegheny trailer trash?). All these people being brought together by the "Great Eye" which we can all translate as the Democratic party, to destroy the good wholesome vaguely Norse peoples of middle earth.
Gandor: Third Age, or Third Reich
Gandor, the all white nation that protects the world from the Easterlings ( also known as the Pan-Slavic horde) leader goes insane and commits suicide at the cusp of defeat, ordering himself set on fire in his Bunker like castle, I wonder who that could be. Luckily, the people of Gandor stashed away a old King to bring out for the Fourth Age/Reich ( Hey the Germans have a similar myth about that for Emperor Barbossa).
In short these are some classroom ideas I think might help advance a classroom discussion on multiculturalism in the Tolken Trilogy:
- What kind of social grievences do the Orcs have, use examples from the text.
- Is the Ents unwillingness to participate in the surrounding community inapprorpiate, why?
- Do you think the Ents would hirer a Orc who had better work experience and refrences over a citizen of Gandor whose skills and experience were inferior, Why, Why not?
Mordor: Racial Ghetto
The Orcs, Guys from "The South" who ride Elephants (or Oliphants, whatever) whoever that could be alluding to, and Jewish Pirates (I mean look at them), in addition to Saurumons race baiting of the Hill people (Allegheny trailer trash?). All these people being brought together by the "Great Eye" which we can all translate as the Democratic party, to destroy the good wholesome vaguely Norse peoples of middle earth.
Gandor: Third Age, or Third Reich
Gandor, the all white nation that protects the world from the Easterlings ( also known as the Pan-Slavic horde) leader goes insane and commits suicide at the cusp of defeat, ordering himself set on fire in his Bunker like castle, I wonder who that could be. Luckily, the people of Gandor stashed away a old King to bring out for the Fourth Age/Reich ( Hey the Germans have a similar myth about that for Emperor Barbossa).
In short these are some classroom ideas I think might help advance a classroom discussion on multiculturalism in the Tolken Trilogy:
- What kind of social grievences do the Orcs have, use examples from the text.
- Is the Ents unwillingness to participate in the surrounding community inapprorpiate, why?
- Do you think the Ents would hirer a Orc who had better work experience and refrences over a citizen of Gandor whose skills and experience were inferior, Why, Why not?
6/01/2005
Carnivale:The end of the neo-gothic explosion
CNN has announced the death of a proud institution. Carnivale, the only artfully done period piece TV fantasy epic whose main antagonist voices Sponge Bob's boss, has been cancelled by HBO. Carnivale was most likely axed to make room for more shows with white teens of questionable social habits getting into trouble in our modern suburbanite culture that is only identifiable to the amazingly wealthy whose narcissism demands that they replicate their own fucked up lives and call it entertainment, G-d almighty I hate Post-Modern TV.
I Really shouldn't complain Arrested Development and the Office both made it for new seasons, but a hole in my heart once filled with the adventures of two crazy prophets, will remain open until it is filled with plaque.
I Really shouldn't complain Arrested Development and the Office both made it for new seasons, but a hole in my heart once filled with the adventures of two crazy prophets, will remain open until it is filled with plaque.