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2/17/2016

Rape U

Campus Safe Space
Founded in 1846 by Timothy Rape, an Asylum Doctor who specialized in non-consensual therapies, Rape University has grown into what US News World report has called " An abomination filled with abominations, it is a national shame, and I don't think I am being too harsh, a crime against humanity." Our campus is situated deep in the Ozarks, surrounded by the raw natural beauty of dense woods, isolated swamps, forgotten caves and decommissioned sewage systems, which are complimented by our cutting edge campus, from soundproof dorm rooms to its darkened library staffed by only the deafest and blindest librarians available. Rape University is stepping into the 21st first century with eyes forward, living up to our founders motto "Its going to happen". From our champion football team the Sabines, to its world class wrestling team making their adversaries squeal " Rape U!" is on every students lips. As our Provost, Ida Rape said " People respond a lot of different ways when someone says Rape U, but I am pegging each and everyone of you, every day, whether you like it or not, as the kind of students, bright eyed and with the prettiest mouths I have ever seen, who will grab the world by its throat and Rape the hell out of it!" using the campus slang for taking what you want by any means necessary.

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