Bannon Out! Zionist, Muslim, terrorists obviously to blame

Stephen "KKK" Bannon has done for the Republican Party what Michael Moore would have done for the Democratic party, if Hillary Clinton had appointed him to be her chief strategist, creating pure oratorical bile in his partisan cauldron as he cackles nonsensical talking points and rhetorical puss. Unfortunately for the Republican party, they won the Presidency, and missed out on being able to confront Hillary Clinton, in the national spotlight, for four whole years, imagine the fun they could have had,  since everyone hates her. Of course the most endearing aspect of the Trump Presidency is his Alt-Right proclivities that are giving Mitch McConnell face palm tan-lines, and the whimsical goblin king of them all was the "Bannonator!"as he insisted certain staffers called him, while he insisted others "Never @#$%en look at me! Eyes down before I throw my coffee at them!". He would come in every day smelling of cheap scotch and car-airfresheners that he rubbed on himself to cover up the smell of scotch, and what he hoped was his own piss, ready to do his job, shout racial and religious invectives, and let anything in a skirt know that they are "too pretty to work in a place like this" while smacking and licking his scotch encrusted lips, and scratching himself.

"Daddy likes num-nums"

How could such a perfect creature, just magical, a dream come true, the alt-right  messiah, so how could he be gone, especially if Trump is also a perfect alt-right messiah? It is an Alt-Right mystery! The answer of course is that a Muslim-Zionist terrorist plot targeting "Action Bannon" has been underway for centuries, he postulates from a storage locker with a wrecked couch, scattered scotch empties, and a piss jug, which he referred to as his "Man-Shack". This conspiracy is also responsible for cock-blocking him, making him late for work, and spilling scotch on him right before important meetings and family events, he said while striping down to his soiled undergarments to "Let the wind do its work", while regularly passing gas. The Afro-Zionist Jihadis not only poisoned the mind of the President, made his scotch disappear while he is "Sleeping", and convinced every women he has ever loved to leave him, they also abduct young innocent Christians for their blood, which fuels their powers. At that point, deep in the "Scotch Fever", and waving a firearm, a sobbing Bannon made this reporter promise to tell his tale, before crawling up on his couch to work through the onset of a scotch induced coma, and of course, shitting himself.