The Rise of the Super Delegates

A common feature in a democracy is civilian control of the military, but what happens when the masses are no longer beholden to their civilian leaders and become a threat to the established order? What happens when silent majorities rise up demanding that their voices be heard? We have no Ataturk to reign in the caprice and superstitions of the masses, and despite the militarization of our police forces, citizens can still be heard. Our Democratic elders, in a draconian display of their sagacity, spent over a decade (1968-82) developing the "Super Delegate". Originally only comprising 14% of all delegates in 1982, their numbers now comprise 20% of all delegates, and the DNC hopes, ideally, to swell their ranks to 30% of all delegates. They are chosen from the democratic elite, sitting Democratic Governors, Senators, Congressfolk and party leaders. These uber delegates are given the right to vote for their candidate of choice, irregardless of the feckless choices made by democratic voters.

"The people who cast the votes don't decide an election, the people who count the votes do."

Inoculated against populist sentiment, indoctrinated in party fealty and fitted with a range of cybernetic implants making them ideal for stumping for candidates, identifying potential and subversive voters,and infiltrating and manipulating caucuses, primaries and conventions. These delegates will use whatever means necessary to secure the coronation of the DNC's chosen candidate.

Texas is yours Mrs. Clinton

As of now the DNC is attempting to fit their super-delegates with temporal displacement devices so they can go back in time and kill Dorothy Sanders before Bernie is born, this saving Clinton from the embarrassment of having to actually convince the unwashed masses that she should lead them, though Sanders says he has a very, very, very good chance to send back his best friend to protect her from time traveling super-delegates.

Raven-Symone and Bill Cosby to run off together to the Isle of Amnesia, AKA Dirty Brooklyn Basement + strong dissassociatives

Raven - Symone calls this his "pudding face".

Vowing to move to Canada if Republicans dare to nominate a candidate , the once and future Cosby kid stated that she already had a ticket to a secluded Canadian Island which had no official law enforcement. Raven continued by stating she will put her phone into the care of her lawyer, escape to Canada and no one but Bill Cosby will know. Raven continued that if Ted Cruz was nominated she would have to drink whatever was in front of her, no mater how long Bill Cosby was left with it beforehand.

Hillary Clinton wants to "autotune" History

Its Ironic!!!...?

Hillary Clinton stated that if elected she would have civil and labor rights leaders airbrushed out of iconic images, and have her age appropriate self digitally inserted (William was obviously delighted, till her realized he wouldn't be fingering a 20 something Hillary).

This is my tolerance face

Clinton began by sighting precedent, as Stalin and Hitler had done before her, but when reporters questioned her program or sources of inspiration she had Secret Service agents, who she fondly calls her SS, open up on them with fire hoses and starved German Shepards. After the room had been cleared and the wounded impounded, she explained how she was a women fighting in a mans world married to an unfaithful spouse that she should be applauded for remaining with and sympathized with for the cruelties.inflicted upon her, and if you question that paradigm, she will bleed you out herself.

He has a plan