Speak like a Pirate Day 2016

Worm Heaven and Human Hell are the same place

This worms only regret is that he hadn't died sooner, while the person in front of him's primary regret is Usury

Pit of despair, or Ledo deck- In a shocking, but not altogether unexpected turn of events, necronauts have discovered Human Hell, first discovered in 1968 by Richard Nixon. While being further explored by the condemned and coerced, as no sane free man would enter of their own free will, and was noted for its giant carnivorous worms by the survivors of earlier expeditions. These large grotesque invertebrates seemed far more numerous than the semi-corporeal souls of the damned, whose physical selves are hacked at and consumed by the worms, before being regenerated anew the next day, which the now sentient worms celebrate with haunting hymns and rhythmic dance before the hunt is renewed again. This location also turned out to be where especially virtuous worms go when they die, taking on all the aspects they faintly yearned for in their tortured, but charitable lives. While the worst of humanity becomes their food and play thing. So as you can see, in death, the worm truly has turned.

The families of these necronauts will be well taken care of

O'kapi! My Capy! Pt. 1

Dr. Joseph Mengele, Jr.
4/30/2044
When speaking of the capybara, three things are well know A) They are the largest rodents in the world B) Native to South America and C) Uniquely capable of teaching for, and administering, standardized tests. This last point became apparent as western nations flailed about wildly in attempt to combat the indomitable work ethic of Confucian minded peoples and the clear superiority of the Nordics, without having to pay teachers more, if anything at all. It seems that the general revulsion to intellectual rigor and the expectation of consistent effort, has alienated all but the most successful and self realized individuals, themselves a hated minority. Teachers became a social liability, a decadent reminder of the old order. While my weak minded “Brother” Rolf might have attributed these attitudes to an undo politicization of an intellectual community, let us remember him for what he was, the weak son, and what does the weak son say?...nothing. The teaching of lesser races should not be the occupation of their masters, and while the state’s failure to properly indoctrinate and racially tract their student was abominable, it alone would not have been a final solution to this peculiar problem. When man realized his sense were too weak to track prey, did they kill their congested? When they realized they were too slow to follow the herds did they starve those who could not keep up? Did man hope to till his fields with a plow on his back? Dog, horse,  ox...when a task becomes onerous and untenable, we do not expect unrealistic alterations to ourselves, but instead find an applicable biological template and modify as needed. The reality of the situation required the vivisection, domestication and training of these new beasts of intellectual burden, these große Aufgabe Bezugspersonen.      

PTA meetings are a blast!!!

 "One who eats slender leaves," not be confused with the oriental sex act, is instead the etymological breakdown of the Capybaras name, and the ideal teacher of rote knowledge. Capybaras are very gregarious, hierarchical, and see little difference between dominance and general group census, ideal for my purposes, and numerous on my ranch outside of Sao Paulo. The final and most important fact to suggest the Capybara is that they only mate in water, and what greater fear does a parent have than an authority figure mating with their child, productively or not. This is why I advised against certain communities around the great lakes and Mississippi to continue with human educators or to use an online system, and reiterate, the events which did occur are the fault of the comptrollers, not my Capybaras. Anti-vivisectionists have played my role in this natural, but assisted, transformation as “notably heinous” and as the Norwegian ambassador to Brazil stated “without compare, Joseph Juniors experimentation is without example…humanity, from this point on, is a hollow term.”
Through the use of binaural beats and autosuggestive methods allowed me t imprint certain behavioral, analytical and content based objectives in the instinctual mind of creature, like a parrot reciting Shakespeare it was perfect, acceptable but without understanding. I first introduced my creation in a non-lab envirment at my nephews summer camp, as the saying goes  " at camp, everyone has a Mengele story." While I had to put the swimming instructor down on the first day, the other instructors worked admirably, the children loved them as they were gentle and will usually allow humans to pet and hand-feed them. The commandant liked the fact that he could pay them in grass and their own feces. While this particular experiment was a success, the issue of administration was still pressing.

Tough but fair

Hillary Clinton proposes "The State"

As part of The State, all nourishment must be obtained from random citizens via an apparatus which is also called "The State", and then thank the stranger on behalf of The State, as explained in a PSA by Robert De Niro,

Understanding that a Trump resurgence, either during the election or as an armed insurrection after the fact, is just one slam dunk performance of "Edelweiss" away. Hillary Clinton has proposed an all encompassing plan for national reform, welcome to "The State", you are going to love it, because you have to.

Here a Hillary supporter can be seen practicing voter predation 

Hillary will be reinstating indigenous labor reforms by instituting the Encomienda system nation wide, allowing Democratic Party members to "protect" the "weak" in exchange for "services", a system Bill Clinton has used with his interns for decades. "The Votes" will work for the party members, canvasing communities, handing out fliers, manning booths at party events, and acting as the "Honeypot" in complicated blackmail schemes. In return "The Votes" will be given a thorough education in party doctrine, and propaganda to be disseminated to the unassigned.

Here the children will learn the art, they will learn to love it, they will learn to obey it, and to reproduce the likeness of Hillary in at least 6 different State approved poses  

Still looking to Americas glorious past for solutions to today's problems, children over the age of 7 will be raised in Carlisle Industrial Schools, out of the reach of their crypto-Trumpian parents, to be given a proper political and occupational education by squads of Clinton Foundation staffers, proudly living their motto "Kill the conservative, save the gender neutral inductee". Whether or not the tuberculosis epidemics will be incidental or intentional, is still undecided.

But where will the Hillary Supporters of tomorrow live? Not with the rabble I hope!

Lastly, for now, the establishment of Fraktion Stadte's (Faction Cities), manned by peasant soldiers fully indoctrinated in Democratic dogma, separated from the General Population to maintain their ideological purity,  shall be established at strategic locations around the country. The purpose of these pre-planned fortified cities will be to act as a bulwark against subversives at home, model the perfect community for the unwashed and unenlightened, and to keep Trumpian civilization from reanimating over the Alleghenies...or Sierra Nevada's, you know, the middle part.