Putin hopes to influence the USA through the use of the "American Spring Break"

Male guardians lock up your female wards, Putin is bringing Slavic manliness to American Spring Break!!! 

In a Swayze inspired move  Russian supreme leader and sex primate, Vladimir "The Iron Fist that Clutches the Throat of the West" Putin is going on a Caribbean arm wrestling tour during spring break, while reasserting soviet era soft power in the region, and pursuing his favorite past time, challenging American hegemony..

Hope I catch a shirt, just kidding!!! [awkward wink]

In his late march early April tour, the Ex-KGB Oligarch will arm wrestle state approved opponents while outwardly hawking his personally branded vodka, while secretly arranging weapons shipments to central American Drug Cartels, Narco-Terrorists, and separatists, not because he needs the money, but to @#$% with America, and because guns are cool.

[whisper] If you win,  I will kill you, by electrocuting you, through your testicles, while your family watches, while they are being electrocuted, through their genitals

The super cool, not gay, entirely democratically elected conqueror of the Crimea will parlay his social acumen into friendships with the wayward children of American politicians, military leaders, and officials of state after they have been compromised by Russian Intelligence in the guise of a sex workers, because he's the kind of friend who will help you get rid of a body, but will never let you forget that he knows how to get rid of a body.

I am so proud to live in a nation where my leader is a untrustworthy and insecure man, yet I do not fear invasion

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Over the weekend the President, and then apparati of state have made baseless accusations, that if true, would mean the most popular man in a generation could be guilty of a punishable crime, while on the other hand, despite being in a unique position of being able to offer any evidence without legal repercussions, and having access to all the information the government has, they have failed to provide any. The White House Press Secretary, impersonating an overweight female comedian, has refused to talk about it further, and let us remember all we have to go on is a twitter tirade, which in court Trump's lawyer's have argued can not be taken as the truth, or a honest indication of the President's own views. So, till congresses water's down their investigation of his administrations ties to Russian officials, by simultaneously investigating a black man for a crime there is no evidence he committed, but he's not racist, because he told us so, he will not bring any evidence, or even discuss the topic. further.

Here the press secretary can be seen using his imagination to crush the heads of reporters he doesn't like

One has to wonder if he understands how insecure and untrustworthy this makes him look. Lets imagine he has an iota of evidence to back this up? A) Can you imagine him not discussing it in detail, during a rally, were he brings Obama in, in chains, being tased by ICE agents as he stumbles towards his cage onstage, where Trump sporting a noticeable erection and a Judges robes, would personally pass Judgement on the former president? B) Can you imagine any of the previous president's, 2 months into their first term, if they received a dossier, alleging that the past president, whose party is now wholly defeated, had listened in on their campaign, would they have been so insecure that they felt the need to leak it to the media? Or, at least, wouldn't wait till the mid terms? So even if he does have something on the last President, he must extremely flustered, nervous and insecure about investigation into his administrations ties Russia, AKA someone you don't want to be leading us against a resurgent Russia led by a popular strong man, especially if he feels to insecure, to no hold on to it and use it as leverage later on.

The Leader of the free world spent 30 minutes talking about the size of his inaugural crowd before breaking down sobbing asking why everyone loves Obama, but nobody loves him

Now to the far more probable reality that the president is lying, nothing like what he said happened, or at worse, there was a wiretap on someone reasonably wiretapped who happened to be in Trump Towers, where I am sure Trump does not restrict residency to moral and righteous paradigms of humanity. This would mean that the President of the most important nation on earth is libeling the former President on provable grounds, realizing this, they are backing out of the conversation by refusing to talk unless congress involves itself in an obvious fiasco, that is entirely partisan and unsupportable. I will say it again, I am so proud to live in a nation where my leader is a untrustworthy and insecure man, yet I do not fear invasion.

Did you know that the movie "Apollo 13" wasn't about space travel!?

While the film Apollo 13 certainly looked like a space drama, and seemed like it was based on real events and people, it was actually a piece of art therapy created in an attempt by Ron Howard to mediate the violent and destructive relationship Gary Sinise so desperately wanted with Tom Hanks, with Tom Hanks desire for a more business like, or even casual relationship, just one that didn't include killing his pets, harassing his wife and kids, and convincing strangers to rape him via dark-net chat rooms and forums.

So tell me Hanky Boy! You coming for Christmas!?!

Ron Howard sought a way for Sinise to live out whatever end game scenario he had cooked up for Hanks, without killing, humiliating or even harming the beloved actor and cherished coworker. The brass tacks of the scenario required Hanks to be stranded thousands of miles from any help, and Gary Sinise had to be his only lifeline. Ron Howard then concocted the scheme of filming Apollo 13, both to fulfill Gary Sinise's overwhelming psychological desire, and entice the space history aficionado Hanks into doing a project with a man that bloodeagled his golden retriever the previous Easter.    

Discarded tag line: " Finally got that smug SOB right where I want him"

While originally being offered the role of the flight director Gene Kranz, Sinise instead chose the role of Ken Mattingly, the spurned team member who was kicked out of the group for "diseased reasons", but he is actually the secret puppet master, and all the characters fall into his web. A great deal of footage was cut to make it more like actual events, and not a humiliating debacle for Jim Lovell, that leaves him emotionally and sensually in debt to Ken Mattingly, who, in an alternate ending which only exists on a 8mm stored under Gary Sinise's bed, depicting Jim Lovell being executed on the moon in a situation reminiscent of the ending to another Gary Sinise classic "Of Mice and Men". As for it's ability to quell Gary Sinise's insane impulses? Well, we will find out when I get you the real scoop behind the Green Mile...

Donald Trump isn't Hitler! He is King George III

Currently, and hopefully forever, Adolph Hitler is the reigning symbol of political evil in the world, a man who was able to twist beautiful and positive things about his society, and the world, into a nightmare we will never shake, and which there were no costs to big, no red line we wouldn't cross, no allies too horrid to make, in order to put the Nazi regime and it's charismatic leader in the ground, for good. So, for any future generations, being able to tie your enemy to Adolph Hitler and his Nazis is the socio-political El-Dorado, since if they are your enemy, you can do no wrong, you can be a Soviet under Stalin and still be the "Good Guys". So it is no wonder that the enemies of President Donald Trump are trying desperately to paint him in such a light. Unfortunately, this analogy doesn't work, at all.

This is a rich entitled douche-bag, who is pretending to be in the military, but won't go to Vietnam

This is Hitler in 1919, a WWI veteran who had been blinded by WMD's. the son of a clerk and simple minded women, whose moral bonafides, at that point in history, are pretty good

Now, of course this article is not about riding the Fuhrer small and malformed cock, but instead an impassioned defense of Godwin's Law. Trump is nothing like Hitler, to say so taints everything that was done to defeat the man. He is a specimen, unique and disturbing, like the musings of H.R Giger and H.P. Lovecraft, a Human cephalopod that avoided mating so he could lead Germany into a wild messianic future . Trump is a large and possibly ancient, Saltwater Crocodile that has been deified by a tribe of headhunters, a tribe that just happens to be the most powerful nation on earth.

Here Melanie and Donald can be seen in their natural form, with petulant Barron in tow

Metaphors aside, a much more fit, appropriate and american analogy would be [Horns sounding]

King George III, Manspreading

Our original enemy, an aloof, far off autocratic aristocrat who restricted immigration, denied Americans representation, and eventually, tried to take our guns (at Lexington and Concord). King George III began his reign with a "UK first, Colonies whatever the @#$%" attitude, stating to parliament, "Born and educated in this country, I glory in the name of Britain" Doesn't sound very American to me. 

Here we can see the President sacrificing a random child from the audience to his Idol of Moloch

Now a gaggle of pandering liberal might try to explain the moral relativism of his position, and how he was much more liberal than many reigning monarchs, how the taxes that the colonies had to pay were minuscule, or appropriate, and I would respond by preform an increasingly loud human beat boxing version of the American national Anthem until you stop talking, and if  it looks like you are waiting until I am finished to start talking again I will go into a falsetto version of the "Battle Hymn of the Republic", and if you are monstrously patient, and have waited all this time to politely get a word in edge wise, as you are about to reply I will begin shouting the names "George Washington, John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, Alexander Hamilton. John Jay, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison" I will stop long enough to see if you are still in the game, and if so, I will begin yelling the list again, because that's the Merican way to win the argument.

Underneath their wigs, make up and foppish dress, Trump & George are basically the same person

   So dress up as Native Americans to dump Trump products in the sea, Boycott his products, write up a list of grievances, brand him a tyrant, and wage brutal war against him if he tries to take our guns, because he is an enemy we know and have dealt with before, not a supernatural form of human evil distinct and superior to the devil.