2/22/2016

Adolf Hitler had a Micropenis!? Or a Microscopic Penis?

His genitals probably resembled the maw of a squid, but in comically minuscule proportions

Scientists are coming to the conclusion that the Fuehrer's penis is far smaller than previously believed, while previous estimates of architect of the holocaust's dangle was between 4 and 5.5 inches (11.4 and 13.9 cm), it seems the butcher of millions penis, no matter how expertly used, could not possibly pleasure a women.

While almost all experts agree that his penis was very small, and his testicles where ugly even for testicles, and his man-meat was almost never erect, a small minority of researchers hypothesize that he in fact had a macro penis going so far as to call it a "super-de-duperdy big dick". These researchers often point out that the lack of funding for "Big dick research", especially in regards to a racist demagogue who slaughtered so many for dubious reasons, regardless of his true historical measurements, resulted in much slower, deeper and more rhythmic research before its results could blast into the faces of established Hitler Penis research. While it is true that a 9-inch Thor's hammer would throw historians for a loop, mushroom stamping their preconceived notions of a psychopaths phallic status forever across their figurative cheeks, no researcher would be willing to risk their professional integrity on that dick.

For now the most evil man in recent history, by any dignified account had a rabbit hole of a penis, crowned by a festering nub of a head, framed by deformed anemone like testicles.