11/20/2017

A WR Review: The Sexless Robot

"There is a robotic hole in this human-shaped bar and grill" -a deleted  journalist

The Sexless Robot has all the basics: Pressed meat sandwiches, psycho-sexual stimuli, peer adventures, and wild hallucinations. 36 Beers on tap and another 23 available from a guy who knows a guy, the Sexless Robot caters to virtually limitless number of thrill seekers. Opened in 1973 in Tucson Arizona by a team of sexually frustrated scientists and their opportunistic family members, the mom and pop cyber-sexual circus flourished for a decade and half till the arcade fantasy era came to a close with the fall of the soviet union.

Without the the threat of nuclear annihilation the Sexless Robot become despondent and careless, much of the staff turning to peddling meth and there bodies, the mechanical Bull repurposed to depraved purposes (Which many scientists sweatly agree are the best kind), the mechanical soul of the restaurant unable to respond  due to the tepid sociopolitical climate of the 90's. A pedophilia ring used the restaurant as a set from 1994-97, and was set to be decommissioned  in 1999, though the team sent to do it was was eviscerated by the wildly nationalistic and violent "All State Jamboree".

As the drug fiends slowly roused from their drug induced slumbered to the wild and confusing robotic cacophony of 9/11 in 2001 in the Sexless Robot, long dormant servers and fixtures came to life with frightening speed and vitality, pureeing squatters and broadcasting support for the United States Government, broadcasting patriotic music over the PA system and began preparing a steak for the mayor and/or police chief.

Ever since " The Sexless Robot" has continued to serve beef and pork ribs, burgers, steaks, and various Tex-Mex classics with ice cold shakes and a side of Gold Era Americana, while also informing the NSA and FBI on subversives, deviants, anti-social characters, as well as Guy Ferrari, all in the name of a good burger and a shake...and an America in lock step with its government.

The Sexless Robot requests you come on in