10/04/2017

Rabbi X rides again!

Rabbi X, also known as Rabbi Yisrael Sassover, which itself is probably an alias, has been absent from the public eye for much of the Obama Presidency as he worked as the beloved President's dealer and Backchannel-Meister, both positions created by President Warren G. Harding, before returning to the private sector, which promptly rejected him, which has led him back to his roots, fringe religion/social activism. Unfortunately, due to his 1990's radio zoo handle "The Cantor of Cunt", who much like Jimmy Kimmel in his launch vehicle "The Man Show", was a rude, crude, and wildly misogynistic, which was far more acceptable in the late 90's right up till 9/11, but thanks to the internet, our zombie selves will always been nipping at our heels. As such, he was unable to take part in the Women's March, and has subsequently been left out of the Anti-Trump loop, probably by design, though the Rabbi insists it's "Purely a bureaucratic issue due to some outstanding warrants" and that they are saving him for some cultural American Ragnarok, so he needs to save his strength, and to cultivate his chi using "kabbalah", and hoarding cocaine.

"Now, is it good to help narco-terrorists, no, but on the other hand think of all the learning you could do!"

That is until one fateful night while looking for neshema's to save on dark net chat rooms, and sources to score wholesale quantities of uncut cocaine from, that he briefly got involved with the white power movement. Snow blind from cocaine, Rabbi X penned a mad manifesto, using various web sites suggested by new friends, and rationalizing that Christianity is just Greco-Latin Judaism, and Islam is just Arab Judaism, and there were already Black Hebrews, so the Rabbi formulated White Judaism, and began proselytizing to other out of control coke heads who found themselves adrift in this Modern Era. His efforts with his local chapters of various white power movements, eventually culminated in a Youtube video of a entire compound of White Supremacists celebrating a relatively authentic Shabbos, which went viral, leading to national chapters of various white power movements brutally reinserting Jesus into the live of White Supremacists throughout the San Joaquin valley, though scattered enclaves of "X Jews"   living in survivalist communes in northern California and Oregon are said to have survived, adding to list of things that they had been decimated by, but survived, as the Rabbi had taught them. 

Here a community of X Jews can be seen celebrating a traditional Shabbos, as the sacred Youtube video has taught

As the Rabbi always says " Life is what happens while your hoarding guns and cocaine", and unfazed by his loss of prestige, the subsequent raids of his drug-ware and safe houses, and well known connection to the white power movement that would hobble a less shameless man in normal society, he danced from one social extreme to the other, like the great awkward circle of monogender dancers at one of Rabbi X's infamous Neo-Orthodox weddings. The Rabbi, under the assumed name of Tooley Shmuogoldstein, illegally rented an abandoned rangers cabin in Capital State Forest, and began plotting how to bring "True Equality to the Races", with the eventual goal of, once again, gathering a cult like following.