|Actress Carrie Fisher watching her mother Debbie Reynolds preform|
|White House well before Obama's treachery|
|After Obama's treachery|
Diamond Joe and John Kerry, locked the petulant, unhinged and brooding President in the Oval Office while they tried to figure out how they would spin this, perhaps to say the Well was working for the Russians, when the President used his Indonesian nerve pinch to disable the SS guards and steal away to the White House under-croft, with only a distorted cackle echoing through the halls for Biden and Kerry to chase after...
|Originally built by Abraham Lincoln to hold the abominations he was sure to find in Southern attics, it was later renovated, twice, by President Grover Cleveland to warehouse his rape victims|
Obama, having been inducted into the Gardnerian tradition while in HS in Hawaii, by way of Ann Dunham's 1970's love interest Doreen Valiente, having already mastered Korowai spirit magic as a youth, President Obama has always had a keen interest in the Occult. This interest turned into an obsession when the young Senator from Illinois was able to gain entrance to the "Secret" Library of Congress, which is revealed by a revolving bookcase in the actual Library of Congress if you try to remove " Morality and Law in Government" from the bookshelf.
His research centered on his own distant relative, Wild Bill Hickok, and that is how he found the "Hickok Psalter", a book of Poetic verses and illustration written by James B. Hickok about his time in the Wild West capturing and delivering monsters of the west to to the Federal government's repository on Gibson Island, which, after 1929, when the wall-street crash halted private development of the new facility meant to house non-corporeal enemies of the United States, it's inhabitants were moved to the White House Under-croft by President Hoover. The under-croft had been used as a Dungeon for the President's personal prisoners since Andrew Jackson, but was transformed into an Asylum for the nations National Curiosities by President Lincoln, who assumed correctly, that the South was rife with monsters, deformed mutants, and cursed byproducts of the Occult, and was combined with the Gibson Island collection by FDR, and the menagerie has been expanded by every President after.
Obama, with an ornate Victorian master key, ran down the clanking metal hallways yelling " Change! Hope! It's a New Day!" with wild bloodshot eyes and a sardonic grin, unlocking hatches and cages as the bemused, befuddled or just belligerent monsters filed out of the under-croft, and as the head of the Cherokee cyclopes Uyotsvhi disappeared over the horizon, Obama smiled knowing he had wreaked his vengeance on a nation that hadn't done exactly what he wanted.
|So long 2016, and suggested listening while you peruse is Leonard Cohen's- Everybody Knows|
1) Hillary Clinton Suffering from Chronic Diarrhea
2) Obama Introduces wolves into your neighborhood
3) The DNC would like to remind you how evil all Russians are, always
4) Caution "F" Word
5) London Mayor Product of love quadrangle between Donald Trump, Bernie Sanders, Clancy Brown, and Margret Thatcher
|Because if they have to hear another Human Liberal tell them the true meaning of Life Day, they will rip their hairless arm clear out of its socket|
In 1978 a one George Lucas made a documentary about the most important holiday on Kashyyyk, Life Day, airing it on Nov 17th to show the similarities between America, with its Thanksgiving Harvest festival, and the long oppressed Wookies own harvest Festival "Life Day". Christians, always excited to co-opt another people's successful customs, had, by the period of the Galactic Civil war, moved the Holiday to December 25th outside of Kashyyyk, probably because Han Solo was always talking about Jesus ( and why Han looks down on the force), and instead of being a triennial event as it had been practiced up to 1,500,000 years before the Battle of Yavin, it has been turned into an annual event. While the Sith outright banned the holiday with GR-1NC4, and even Emperor Palpatine famously thumbed his nose at Star Christians, by yelling "Bah, Humbug!", clearly using the force to travel through time and space to have knowledge of "A Christmas Carol". The Republic was far more insidious adding elements to the holiday that would never have existed on a planet that had year round temperate climate, global Jungles, and the simple red robes that are the only cloths worn by the wookies, and only for one day, and only because Lucas was wildly overbudget and couldn't afford full wookie costumes for all the historical reenactors, for example:
|If you aren't wearing this, you aren't celebrating Life Day!|
|What does "Nutcracker Armor" have to do with 7 foot tall hairy arboreal bipeds celebrating the harvest, life, the ones they lost, and the eating of Orga root?|
|How do an outnumbered band guerrilla's take down a Macedonian Phalanx, the premier fighting force of its time, perhaps boiling oil? Or as the Maccabees called it "Making Latkes"|
|Did you know there were many "Antiochus", the one from the Hanukkah story was number IV, this is the most recent model|
|Stick with me, this is important|
So, for the last 150 years the Greeks have occupied most of the known world, you know, the world that counts [wink], and doing Greek shit, worshiping Greek gods, doing Greek sports etc. almost all required one to pull out their dangle, which would in turn open doors for this individual who has shown a proper wang and show them a whole new world of possibilities...primarily cultural and economic, but in the Greek world that would invariably become sexual, so it all comes back to a properly dressed shaft. Well, the Jews have this thing, their oldest tradition is to trim the awning and keep ones masculinity tidy, so, to do as the Greeks do, make money, get an education etc. the Jew would have to give up their most cherished tradition. So you had the Greek occupation and their "Downstairs mess" kapos on the one side, and traditional Jews on the other, both living separate lives with separate institutions, until a butt hurt Antiochus comes back from the war that didn't happen and decided to be a dick about things.
|I'm so sorry, how rude of me, did anyone else want to try and sacrifice pig to Zeus on this alter? Anyone?|