8/16/2016

O'kapi! My Capy! Pt. 1

Dr. Joseph Mengele, Jr.
4/30/2044
When speaking of the capybara, three things are well know A) They are the largest rodents in the world B) Native to South America and C) Uniquely capable of teaching for, and administering, standardized tests. This last point became apparent as western nations flailed about wildly in attempt to combat the indomitable work ethic of Confucian minded peoples and the clear superiority of the Nordics, without having to pay teachers more, if anything at all. It seems that the general revulsion to intellectual rigor and the expectation of consistent effort, has alienated all but the most successful and self realized individuals, themselves a hated minority. Teachers became a social liability, a decadent reminder of the old order. While my weak minded “Brother” Rolf might have attributed these attitudes to an undo politicization of an intellectual community, let us remember him for what he was, the weak son, and what does the weak son say?...nothing. The teaching of lesser races should not be the occupation of their masters, and while the state’s failure to properly indoctrinate and racially tract their student was abominable, it alone would not have been a final solution to this peculiar problem. When man realized his sense were too weak to track prey, did they kill their congested? When they realized they were too slow to follow the herds did they starve those who could not keep up? Did man hope to till his fields with a plow on his back? Dog, horse,  ox...when a task becomes onerous and untenable, we do not expect unrealistic alterations to ourselves, but instead find an applicable biological template and modify as needed. The reality of the situation required the vivisection, domestication and training of these new beasts of intellectual burden, these gro├če Aufgabe Bezugspersonen.      

PTA meetings are a blast!!!


 "One who eats slender leaves," not be confused with the oriental sex act, is instead the etymological breakdown of the Capybaras name, and the ideal teacher of rote knowledge. Capybaras are very gregarious, hierarchical, and see little difference between dominance and general group census, ideal for my purposes, and numerous on my ranch outside of Sao Paulo. The final and most important fact to suggest the Capybara is that they only mate in water, and what greater fear does a parent have than an authority figure mating with their child, productively or not. This is why I advised against certain communities around the great lakes and Mississippi to continue with human educators or to use an online system, and reiterate, the events which did occur are the fault of the comptrollers, not my Capybaras. Anti-vivisectionists have played my role in this natural, but assisted, transformation as “notably heinous” and as the Norwegian ambassador to Brazil stated “without compare, Joseph Juniors experimentation is without example…humanity, from this point on, is a hollow term.”
Through the use of binaural beats and autosuggestive methods allowed me t imprint certain behavioral, analytical and content based objectives in the instinctual mind of creature, like a parrot reciting Shakespeare it was perfect, acceptable but without understanding. I first introduced my creation in a non-lab envirment at my nephews summer camp, as the saying goes  " at camp, everyone has a Mengele story." While I had to put the swimming instructor down on the first day, the other instructors worked admirably, the children loved them as they were gentle and will usually allow humans to pet and hand-feed them. The commandant liked the fact that he could pay them in grass and their own feces. While this particular experiment was a success, the issue of administration was still pressing.


Tough but fair