Know Your Mob! Before it knows you...

Herd behavior got you down? Do crowds of angry people who hate you, for being you, make you upset? But still want to occasionally gang up on people, places, and things you hate with friends, family, "allies", and others who are caught in the spirit of the moment? Don't worry, that's just part of being an advanced social mammal, and as long you know your group dynamics, keep your nose down, stay in line, you'll be just fine.

Sure it's a riot, but of what variety, bread, police, race, religious, student, urban, sports etc.etc.? Or perhaps some blending of riots, the magenta of riots

Know your Crowd
Am I in a protest? Well. Are you being photographed? Is this still a protest? It should be noted that many things billed as peaceful protests often devolve...no? Your still just peaceably expressing your ideas? Can you loot in a protest? Are bludgeoning tools also the tool of the protester? Can I expect to be let off for my OUTRAGEOUS behavior based on the size and emotional nature of the crowd? Are all thing someone should be asking before they enter a crowd, and decide based on the nature of the crowd, and how much fun everyone in it is currently having.

You jumped in head first, and now this is how you're spending your night

Know your place in the crowd

It's alright to tell yourself that "You are the Alpha" in front of the bathroom mirror, or intimate it during obligatory sex, but in a crowd you have to be honest about your place in the pack and your ability to dominate others, or else you end up like Benito Mussolini circa April 28th, 1945. Remember, a crowd is like a beautiful women, on coke, with a small dog in her purse, drinking red bull and vodka out of a fountain cup, with misapplied make-up... and acting aspirations, so if you want to lead that @#$% show, fine, but most sensible folk understand that the real fun of a crowd is to submerge oneself in the group, rather than try to do something with a mass of unstable humanity. Being in a crowd is all about being "in", the ingroup, that and sticking it to those outgroup @$$holes, being yourself isn't how you establish a group paradigm.

Remember to have fun with it!

Of course, as always, the most important thing is to have fun with it, otherwise you are already dead and the people who hate you will be winning, and if you are like most Americans "Showing them All!" is the only thing keeping you going. Besides the obvious looting opportunities, and chances for relatively consequence free violence, it is also a chance to make friends for a moment and memories that will last a lifetime... no matter how much you drink.


It's time to put the Confederacy in museums

Everything can be appropriate if its in a Museum, this exhibition of sex positions takes up a "12 and older" space at the Amsterdam Science Museum 
Sometimes things go sideways, pear-shaped, or tits-up, but whatever anglo slang you are using, whether as an individual or a nation, sometimes ones intentions, whether they be good or self serving, sometimes go horribly wrong. Hitler is the most popular, famous, and misleading example of a nation being led astray, but you also have Stalin, the Young Turks monstrous debaucheries in Transcaucasia, Andrew Jackson and the Cherokee, and of course, the greatest of the USA's sins, African Slavery, the Civil War, and close to a century of a state approved persecution, followed by an interminable period of social racism, it is a sin that has cost more Americans more dearly than any other and costs us till this day, made all the worse because it seemed to be a system that came from a state of mind, rather than state of mind created by the system.

You can't blame the average white southerner, at first, they lived in the slave holding bubble, where everyone inside saw it as new and better form of European feudalism, where non-whites were the serfs, and all whites where free men with the slaveholders maintaining the balance of society like the lords of old. Of course anyone outside of the system could see it was a bunch of petty bourgeoisie using an antiquated system to corner the labor market in their sad little corner of the world, a system whose only redeeming quality is that it kept out new people and change. Then we had a war, the South lost, and in typical American style, we bungled the occupation. If we were to look at national conquests as sex acts, as I love to do, America is great at the conquest, but terrible at occupation, it comes in too hard, blows its load right as it is was starting to get some traction, leaving that biscuit buttered for whatever independence movement or foreign despot is attracted by the sounds of an unsatisfying struggle. The American South was/is, no different, and the old regime was back in power a decade or two after the wars end. The following 80 years of over the top, systemic, racism, without the economic benefits of slavery shows that, like Anti-Semitism in Europe, Class warfare in Russia, or Turkish Supremacy in Turkey, White on Black Racism in America is an ingrained problem, that if not actively confronted, revives, like the undead from a body shot.

The cross has been used as the symbol for many abominable causes, but it reminds you of Jesus and forgiveness, even if it is a symbol of terror to non-Christians, so we won't ban it. Remember that when you are dealing with symbols that are dear to some, but not your own

Now, because it is an ingrained problem, and because the Civil War was the war that definitively decided it was a problem, that we should De-Confederacize, Slave holders should be airbrushed from official portraits, their successes should be attributed to more worthy Americans, their symbols burned in public bonfires as their descendants are paraded through town and forced to denounce their ancestors, fortunately based on other 20th century nations that have practiced those sort of cultural purges, we know those cures are as bad as the disease. So what do we do with a landscape that is dotted with positive reminders of a malignant and not quite dead way of life? You put it in a museum, away from the uneducated masses, squarely in its historical context, and where inappropriate veneration can be dealt with. Tearing down history, like the caldera created from mammoth WWI era artillery shell could become a trench to the enemy, or how rubble in WWII could be better defensive position than the building was, uprooting history creates mental images and ideas of opposition more poignant and more recent than what the historical memorabilia did, a child seeing angry out-of-towners tearing down the images of a legendary southern past seeds another generation of sectional conflict. On the other hand, removing these statutes and other public reminders to a museum, where they will be respected and/or vilified for what they were, where visitors can mumble silent prayers or curses at a mixed alter, behind glass, with a placard next to it explaining its reality beyond and reasonable doubt. That is how you bury the past, with full honors, and a honest headstone.    


Did Scaramucci party too hearty? Or not hearty enough?

In 10 of the wackier days of the wackiest presidency to date, there was the worst possible Italian stereotype possible without kidnapping James Gandolfini's family as leverage, to force him to plays Tony Soprano, as the White House Communications Director, for real, and to cope, did a mountain of cocaine. He was fired by John " The Face of Death" Kelly, probably for being a complete idiot.

The Grim Reaper attempts to look hopeful
Now did the president allow a decorated veteran, who also happens to be an excellent Colonel Klink for a Hogan's Hero's reboot,  to fire someone his boss hired less than a fortnight (14 days) ago, because he was an almost G-d like embarrassment, that even Trump, obviously found embarrassing, or was he just being a "Mooch".

At first they said having a mound of cocaine on your Oval Office desk was unacceptable, then Trump came along

One has to ask, because if we don't Obama supported deep state operatives will assassinate me, and randomly decimate those I love, is this all part of Trump's mildly hidden, Pro-Cocaine stance? Hampered by an old military square? Or an Italian who was supposed to funnel drugs and prostitutes into the white-house discretely, but instead put the embarrassment in chief to shame, in person, and on twitter ("Twitter" is Scaramucci's and Trump's mutual favorite underage prostitute, possibly another source of friction [child like giggling]) , as well as social media? "John Kelly" is also Trump's safe word when he is being sexually tortured by Latina's in maid costumes while he is away at one of his many resorts and clubs avoiding the responsibilities of the office. What if this is all an elaborate big-cat like making dance, miles and miles of pursuit before "Alpha Kelly" "Tames" " President" Trump, the political bad boy brought to heel by a... sorry, no, its gross, its all gross, its like eating a plate of brownies you know a table spoon of @#$% has been mixed into, G-d help us all. What if Scaramucci was nothing more than man-bait to lure Kelly from being the head of a department, to the chief of Trump's staff? Why does everything about this presidency have to be wrong?


Husks 'R' Us

Do you loath dusty necropolises and crowded graveyards?
[Man comically, catastrophically, sneezes scattering human remains in all directions] [Women begins digging up a grave, but everyone turns and points towards her accusingly]

Husk procurement can be dangerous, difficult, not to mention taboo, so leave it to the professional

But need a husk for legal, recreational, ceremonial, medical, media, productions on stage, film or TV etc. or just to grind up or brew in a soup to give you a boner? We have husks of many species, sapient and primal, in formaldehyde, stuffed, mummified, skeletons and exoskeletons. We have exceptional specimens of husks, average ones, and husks deformed in every way imaginable, from husks that represent that species next step in their evolution, ones that were hunted for being just too different, to husks that begged us to kill them, we have the soulless remnant for you.

Can't choose one husk? Why not try one of our famous husk platters, or ask one of our Husk imagineers to help you build the husk of your dreams

While we do offer a wide variety of undead husks, ones that come with the promise that we charge the same price whether you are related to the husk, or just an aficionado, we also offer the  Husks 'R' Us Guarantee that our inanimate husks will never animate, and we back up that promise with ancient ruins carved into everyone of our husks, whether it is a zombie apocalypse or a vengeful warlock, our husks will never turn against you, that's the Husks 'R' Us difference.

We have adorable husks, you know, for the kids... awe!

So whether you are new to the world of husks, or an Ole'Husky, we have the variety and quality you've come to expect from Husks 'R' Us, the only husk merchant that is certified by the FDA to sell, distribute, appropriate, and produce husk products of every type, including ointments,lubricants, and tinctures, and licensed to sell extraterrestrial husks when captive populations reach a level where they can be treated as livestock. So come on down to a Husks 'R' Us near you, or our VHS catalog brought to you by a guy, who knows a guy.

Come again soon!!!