10/17/2017

Kurdistan is our Czechoslovakia

Honestly, there are no people on the face of the earth more deserving of their own nation, that currently have no Nation State, than the Kurds, especially not a bunch of whiny, stingy, effete Catalans. Over 30 million Kurds are scattered between Iraq, Iran, Turkey and Syria, in a roughly contiguous zone, but those nations with their beautiful angles and curves of their Sykes-Picot style boarders, and asymmetric lines, very modernist and beautiful, in a stupid self serving sort of way, don't want the Kurds to be Kurds in their nation, but don't want to let them out of the social contract either. While the Ottomans under the Millet System had allowed various ethnic courts to act independently of the central government, had maintained a status quo between the various communities of the Empire through integration and the use of the Millet system, including the Kurds, until a bunch of unruly young Turks kicked that system squarely in the nuts/cunt. The resulting artificial states each repressed their Kurdish [Gerrymandered] minorities in-turn, from the 1920's until the early 21st century, when a mixture of American Adventurism/Militarism, Arab Spring, and long simmering ethnic tensions provided a narrow opportunity for Kurds to assert themselves as a proud and ancient people, who have had the fruits of their labor usurped by lesser nations, humiliated, murdered in mass without reprisal, and have suffered unspeakably for lack of a homeland, and thus, by any standard of national morality, deserve one.

Its even kinda shaped like Czechoslovakia


Yet, from Western civilization, crickets, from the UN, who has so dismally failed the Kurdish people time and again through out the 2nd act of the 20th century, distracted whistling, at best. Israel, the most censured state on earth is the only nation to support their independence. What is so horrible about the Kurds that they must remain minorities under the thumb of others? Why is America, who since 2003 have been praising the bravery and professionalism of the Peshmerga forces, their democracy their society, in Northern Syria and in Iraq, how they credited them with pushing ISIS from Northern Syria, and holding the line against ISIS in 2014 when the Iraqi army fled like cowards leaving the Kurds to their fate, why would the USA, a land founded on fighting high handed unnatural rule, deny the Kurds a democratic, egalitarian Nation State? Because it would lead to a series of hectic days, annoying schedules, possible hurt feelings,and  managing angry and competing allies who desperately want to maintain the prestige of a nation that can keep other smaller nations under their thumb indefinitely. Additionally, if the Kurds get their own state, they will be more focused on building that State, than acting as a proxy army for western powers who want them to deal with the ISIS threat that they had some part in creating, but no stomach for fighting.

"[Obama Speaking] All right, we'll drop bombs and guns indiscriminately in Syria and Northern Iraq, have the Kurds win the war, and then apportion their gains, to their oppressors"

Frankly, why did the relatively secular  Free Syrian Army crumble, and much of what was left of it went to ISIS? Because there were no great powers willing to back the opponents of Assad, while Hezbollah, Iran, and Russia gathered to back Assad, and even then the west's reaction was tepid and half-hearted compared to what Assad was getting, so who were Sunni Muslims supposed to look to for help on the ground besides Muslim extremists? Who could get them money, guns and training? And even in the fight against this manufactured foe, we are willing to double-cross true friends and allies to do it, in a manor that plays into the maniacal Assad and mad Ayatollah's, not to mention an ever more autocratic and Islamist Erdogan. I hope to God our nation will look past short sighted expedience and give these true friends of America the support they deserve, rather than throw another people under the bus because the State department would rather appease states that already exist, rather than support a people who desperately need a state.

10/08/2017

While the bears are away, the Eskimo's will play

Ladies?


As Polar Bear numbers dwindles, the Eskimo population is poised to explode, just as it was decimated by the little Ice Age between 1400 and 1600, which ended Inuit whale hunting in the high arctic, both due to climate change, and polar bears who you can't prove weren't sentient and malevolent, during that period, you just can't. Honestly, mirror test a 15th century Polar Bear and prove me wrong, but I don't think you have the guts, or time traveling know how to prove me wrong, just to prove me wrong. Even in their current dumbed down form the large ursine carnivore is a sympatric predator of the Eskimo, who find it nearly impossible to compete with the Charismatic Megafauna, as hunters or as a popular symbol of their polar region, but thanks to global warming and resurgent whale populations, the Eskimo's are feeling lucky now that they no longer need to compete with the extremely sexually dimoprhic bears who are always the center of attention at any event they attend.

Tuunraq, keeper of game, hopes you get lucky

Now,as the people of the circumpolar region who live in stilted houses say, " If the stilts are a rocking, don't come a knocking", which used to refer to out of control alcoholism and domestic violence, but it increasingly refers to sex fueled by the total lack of fear that polar bears instill as predators and economic rivals and the warmer ice free temperatures, cause the poorly constructed dwelling to sway.

Have bears and arctic temperatures been the only thing holding the Eskimo's sexual revolution back? Well that's what I told these two Greenland Inuits

Of course, now that Eskimo's are free to spend their endless summer days cavorting in the taiga, unafraid of being attacked by the largest carnivorous predator in the world mid-coitus, or being unable to bring home the blubber because you got chased from your kill by some white @$$hole, will it lead to a boom in the Eskimo population, or will these new found liberties be primarily recreational? Or was it the fear of the Polar Bear that got them in the mood in the first place, that the fact that a 2,000 pound apex predator could choose to make you and your family its meal, at any moment, and there is nothing you could do about it, drove the Eskimo's to cherish life in a way they no longer will, devolving into an internet porn addiction at some point unless those majestic beasts are reintroduced into their lives, or they turn to increasingly niche fetishes.

Nothing like a Polar Bear to spice up your sex life
 

10/04/2017

Rabbi X rides again!

Rabbi X, also known as Rabbi Yisrael Sassover, which itself is probably an alias, has been absent from the public eye for much of the Obama Presidency as he worked as the beloved President's dealer and Backchannel-Meister, both positions created by President Warren G. Harding, before returning to the private sector, which promptly rejected him, which has led him back to his roots, fringe religion/social activism. Unfortunately, due to his 1990's radio zoo handle "The Cantor of Cunt", who much like Jimmy Kimmel in his launch vehicle "The Man Show", was a rude, crude, and wildly misogynistic, which was far more acceptable in the late 90's right up till 9/11, but thanks to the internet, our zombie selves will always been nipping at our heels. As such, he was unable to take part in the Women's March, and has subsequently been left out of the Anti-Trump loop, probably by design, though the Rabbi insists it's "Purely a bureaucratic issue due to some outstanding warrants" and that they are saving him for some cultural American Ragnarok, so he needs to save his strength, and to cultivate his chi using "kabbalah", and hoarding cocaine.

"Now, is it good to help narco-terrorists, no, but on the other hand think of all the learning you could do!"

That is until one fateful night while looking for neshema's to save on dark net chat rooms, and sources to score wholesale quantities of uncut cocaine from, that he briefly got involved with the white power movement. Snow blind from cocaine, Rabbi X penned a mad manifesto, using various web sites suggested by new friends, and rationalizing that Christianity is just Greco-Latin Judaism, and Islam is just Arab Judaism, and there were already Black Hebrews, so the Rabbi formulated White Judaism, and began proselytizing to other out of control coke heads who found themselves adrift in this Modern Era. His efforts with his local chapters of various white power movements, eventually culminated in a Youtube video of a entire compound of White Supremacists celebrating a relatively authentic Shabbos, which went viral, leading to national chapters of various white power movements brutally reinserting Jesus into the live of White Supremacists throughout the San Joaquin valley, though scattered enclaves of "X Jews"   living in survivalist communes in northern California and Oregon are said to have survived, adding to list of things that they had been decimated by, but survived, as the Rabbi had taught them. 

Here a community of X Jews can be seen celebrating a traditional Shabbos, as the sacred Youtube video has taught

As the Rabbi always says " Life is what happens while your hoarding guns and cocaine", and unfazed by his loss of prestige, the subsequent raids of his drug-ware and safe houses, and well known connection to the white power movement that would hobble a less shameless man in normal society, he danced from one social extreme to the other, like the great awkward circle of monogender dancers at one of Rabbi X's infamous Neo-Orthodox weddings. The Rabbi, under the assumed name of Tooley Shmuogoldstein, illegally rented an abandoned rangers cabin in Capital State Forest, and began plotting how to bring "True Equality to the Races", with the eventual goal of, once again, gathering a cult like following.

9/10/2017

The Green Mile: The Passion of Gary Sinise

Whether it was Gary Sinise who gaslighted a mentally enfeebled Hanks into a dark prison fantasy film, or Hanks resurgent personality after years of physical therapy, psychological therapy, spiritual therapy etc. etc. attempt to confront his greatest fear, Gary Sinise, one thing was sure, Michael Clark Duncan wasn't going to "let two bat%$#@ insane, crazy white dudes @#$% this shot at immortality up for me". While Gary Sinise would have probably attempted to assault and humiliate Hanks several times during filming... and while he was visiting his family... and dining with work friends to avoid being ambushed by Gary Sinise who would demand social, sexual, or contractual favor in return for not assaulting him in unspeakable ways, as he described in his self published N.Korean Exclusive " Brains on the Rocks are Just food" and " Tom Hanks is a depraved Rapist, a N. Korean guide to killing Tom Hanks" Narrated by Gary Sinise.

Bruce Willis supposedly helped get Michael Clarke Duncan the role of what Forbes Magazine called a "Magic Negro Figure"  


Michael Clark Duncan saved Tom Hanks from what Gary Sinise described as an "Inside outing of what makes Tom Hanks human, sane, and inoffensively heterosexual" adding several lines describing his planned fetishistic rituals, for when he had imprisoned Hanks, after that Sinise had his head pressed against a cinderbloc wall by Duncan till Sinise concussed, tied him to a raft, and sent him down river where he was rescued by amorous fans who marveled at the beauty of his mouth, though it turned out it was just James Cromwell and Sam Rockwell method acting as two sado-sexual hillbillies, after they were done with all their "methods" they wished to "act" on a now shattered Sinise. In return for destroying the troubled actor they were promised parts in Michael Clark Duncun's off Broadway musical "My Way" a tale of transsexual wrestling set to covers of Sinatra favorites, before it was shut down by the Sinatra estate. It was a masterful plan that might have worked if not for the all encompassing, hyper-focused, what he calls love, but what we would recognize as something dark, destructive and wrong, that drives him ever towards Tom Hanks, in what he insists on making, a collision course.

Here a dehydrated and unmedicated Sinise has taken over the stage, and has placed his foot over the guitarists head and threatened to "Go Gallagher on him" if everyone didn't keep partying

Gary Sinise had a psychotic break and believed himself to now be both Sinise AND Hanks, as he attempted to replace Hanks on set, find and wear hanks cloths, and try and sleep with his wife, while trying to convince everyone that the new Hanks-Sinise hybrid was the Hanks they all loved, but so much more, all of which they found horrifying. Duncan, tasked with cleaning up the mess, locked him in a cabin "Black Snake Moan" style, till he regained his senses enough to finish filming, and then he was promptly sent to a now abandoned Asylum in French Guiana  to protect Hanks and his family from further trauma.