2/01/2017

The Reign of the Scarab is Upon Us

If you want a vision of the future, imagine a ball of shit being rolled over a human face, by beetles, forever
Over the last 3 months the President Elect, and then President Actual, flamboyantly summoned the political and cultural elite to his goldplated sky tank, to talk, eat, laugh, and be belted to surgical table as the 70 year old enemy of all vomits hardened knots of fecal matter into the pried open mouth of his victims, infecting them with scarab beetles and fulfilling the "Prophecy of the Scarab", and one of his most cherished and long held sexual fetishes.

Then, in a series of rapid fire executive orders, he replaced the nations food stamp program with dung rations, by first mocking the social weakness of the poor, called their children looosers, and then stated "A beetle that eats dung, need not eat or drink anything else" and dubbed it his "Eat Shit and Live" program. The insect hive mind controlling the Trump's meat suit went on to warn that we needed to build the border wall immediately to keep Mexicans from stealing our shit.  America tried to take this figuratively before Trump clarified that he meant the collected scat of herbivores and omnivores, with that produced by the latter clearly being superior.

The President than asked for some privacy as he had acquired some especially finely textured dung and hoped to fertilize it with the help of his adviser and son-in-law Jared Kushner, though, like the ancient Egyptians, he is wrong in believing that he can procreate by simply injecting his sperm, and that Jared Kushner, into a ball of finely textured shit.