9/10/2017

The Green Mile: The Passion of Gary Sinise

Whether it was Gary Sinise who gaslighted a mentally enfeebled Hanks into a dark prison fantasy film, or Hanks resurgent personality after years of physical therapy, psychological therapy, spiritual therapy etc. etc. attempt to confront his greatest fear, Gary Sinise, one thing was sure, Michael Clark Duncan wasn't going to "let two bat%$#@ insane, crazy white dudes @#$% this shot at immortality up for me". While Gary Sinise would have probably attempted to assault and humiliate Hanks several times during filming... and while he was visiting his family... and dining with work friends to avoid being ambushed by Gary Sinise who would demand social, sexual, or contractual favor in return for not assaulting him in unspeakable ways, as he described in his self published N.Korean Exclusive " Brains on the Rocks are Just food" and " Tom Hanks is a depraved Rapist, a N. Korean guide to killing Tom Hanks" Narrated by Gary Sinise.

Bruce Willis supposedly helped get Michael Clarke Duncan the role of what Forbes Magazine called a "Magic Negro Figure"  


Michael Clark Duncan saved Tom Hanks from what Gary Sinise described as an "Inside outing of what makes Tom Hanks human, sane, and inoffensively heterosexual" adding several lines describing his planned fetishistic rituals, for when he had imprisoned Hanks, after that Sinise had his head pressed against a cinderbloc wall by Duncan till Sinise concussed, tied him to a raft, and sent him down river where he was rescued by amorous fans who marveled at the beauty of his mouth, though it turned out it was just James Cromwell and Sam Rockwell method acting as two sado-sexual hillbillies, after they were done with all their "methods" they wished to "act" on a now shattered Sinise. In return for destroying the troubled actor they were promised parts in Michael Clark Duncun's off Broadway musical "My Way" a tale of transsexual wrestling set to covers of Sinatra favorites, before it was shut down by the Sinatra estate. It was a masterful plan that might have worked if not for the all encompassing, hyper-focused, what he calls love, but what we would recognize as something dark, destructive and wrong, that drives him ever towards Tom Hanks, in what he insists on making, a collision course.

Here a dehydrated and unmedicated Sinise has taken over the stage, and has placed his foot over the guitarists head and threatened to "Go Gallagher on him" if everyone didn't keep partying

Gary Sinise had a psychotic break and believed himself to now be both Sinise AND Hanks, as he attempted to replace Hanks on set, find and wear hanks cloths, and try and sleep with his wife, while trying to convince everyone that the new Hanks-Sinise hybrid was the Hanks they all loved, but so much more, all of which they found horrifying. Duncan, tasked with cleaning up the mess, locked him in a cabin "Black Snake Moan" style, till he regained his senses enough to finish filming, and then he was promptly sent to a now abandoned Asylum in French Guiana  to protect Hanks and his family from further trauma.

9/05/2017

Trump to release a terrifying evil from its ancient slumber

This is the kind of support Trump craves 


Trump misses his old White house, a lot. From Bannon coming in with his party hat modified to handle two handles of scotch, while forgetting his pant. Trump and Kushners regular impromptu and scheduled tickle fights. Ten beautiful days were Scaramucci did a capoeira/parkour style dance, but instead of fighting or fleeing, he was doing lines off of everything and everyone, while looking for leaks and "communicating". Sean Spicer discretely pleasuring himself in the bushes, while Bannon orally pleasures himself, egged on by a wildly sniffling Scaramucci, Michael Flynn taping it for his "Russia Friends", who "just wanted to see how dudes party". All that only worked when you had Rance Priebus to bully, it is almost comical how easily you can make the man cry, and cry he did.


A Bannon-O-Gram costs extra if you don't want him to put on black face


Now it seems, he has chief of Staff John Kelly, a retired, multi star general (You start to count stars, where does it end? Shall we count the sand on the beach?) has committed to a brutal and, perhaps, despite everything, uncalled for culling of Trumps White House, which included the firing of some high level people, but also involved the state sanctioned murder of a lot of staffers to "set the tone" in the new White House. Yet when the lord high executioner has been away, besides sending secret missives to his bromantic partner Bannon, and paying for Bannon-O-Grams to see his old friend again, but refusing to tip him, and smoking weed whenever Kelley turns his back, but... In addition to these juvenile acts of rebellion Trump has been cavorting with sleazy archaeologists in an attempt to locate the wine embalmed sarcophagus of Asmodeus, Lord of Demons, who helped build the 1st Temple in Jerusalem, and seduced Solomon (He changed his name to Koheleth to avoid mockery afterwards, and then Asmodeus went after his mom)  to help him fix his failing presidency, something he learned about during  a regularly scheduled tickle fight with Kushner, a tickle fight so intense they ended up pissing on each other and getting a scolding from Kelly, yet, since that vitamin scented afternoon, Trump has thought of little other than freeing, binding, and befriending Asmodeus.



Trump, using the full power of the Federal government forged a series of decoder rings for himself and the other members of "Operation Kelly Keep-Away" which had four goals A) Locating the Prison/Sarcophagus of the devious and powerful entity. B) Binding it to our Presidents will C) Befriend/sacrificing to Asmodeus to get him in Trumps corner. D) All concerned will crap on Kelly's doorstep, "A @#$% Bukkake", said Rabbi Israel Sassover, Trump's new spiritual adviser who is obviously Scaramucci dressed as a Haredi Jew, in a fake beard powdered with cocaine, and then the assembled would urinate on their scat to create a hard to clean, unsightly, and smelly mess for "The Church Lady" to grumpily clean up, at which time the gang pelts him with rotten eggs that have been marinating in Bannon's man-shack since April.
Here we can see the gang comically fail at trying to order pizza, and instead content themselves with tickling and pissing on a traumatized Pence



Unfortunately, for those assembled, they were being led by Trump who immediately mangled the plan, tweeted about it, and decided to move forward with A, C and D without any clear idea of how to accomplish B, because research on B was taking too long and he was getting fidgety and belligerent. A black ops expedition to the Levant was launched and the sarcophagus was retrieved, in addition the expedition brought back several specimens for Trump's human zoo, too bad CNN won't talk about that success, because it is secret, and horrible, and they and their families would be targeted if they did. Since then the President has embarked on a series of inexplicable and cruel actions which seem nonsensical, unless you are trying to open a hell pit to allow you to release an ageless evil, but as of press time, the most he has elicited from the White House hell pit is a twitch and quiver, yet the possibility of an unrestrained creature being released from its sarcophagus, a being of limitless evil, power, and craftiness being unleashed on the nation, which, according to a recent poll, is preferred to a continued Trump Presidency[zing], like Trump in a debate, is imminent and looming

9/03/2017

Is "Nice Jesus" a Zionist invention?

The disconnect between Christian actions, which are, globally, destructive, greedy, and coercive, and the teachings and life of Christ, couldn't be more different. Could the ostensibly trust worthy gospels have twisted the truth to fit their narrative, if the gospels themselves weren't literary invention to begin with? I am looking at you Thomas. Or have progressive editors of the bible expunged all the parts of the New Testament where Jesus is a stingy asshole who is all about getting his, figuring he would be forgiven later? Or, is the entire Jesus narrative, with its loaves, fishes, and state sanctioned murder of a free spirit who just wanted to fight the bank an invention of Zionist propaganda that has successfully gas-lighted the western world into believing in the existence of "Nice Jesus", as all true adherents of Christ know his life was immaterial, and that it is his fetishistic death and fantastical resurrection that should form the basis of ones faith and morality? We are going to go with that last one.

Jesus (actual) mostly used the fact that he was G-d's son to get his dick wet


Of course you are wondering, "Why are Zionists involved at all?", the polite answer is, because settlements pervert everything. The less polite answer is that Jews are an unpleasant reminder that Christianity is fan fiction and cultural appropriation, same goes for Islam (Latin/Greek and Arab style Judaism), so they hate them, but it isn't politically correct to hate them for that, so people make political excuses and demonize the ideological spirit of the only Jewish state, obviously. Also, Jews are notoriously clever, possibly a Darwinian adaptation to people always trying to murder them, but probably a satanic gift in return for Christian blood, so this bred/Satanic gift is the only way we can believe the central tale of a nigh two millennia old religion is actually a modern Zionist invention meant to engender meekness and weakness in superior races, which of course has to have a bespectacled, soft-spoken, meticulous, affable, POS Jew behind it.

Here we can see the Zionists demonstrating their "Nice Jesus" proof of concept for the Vatican in 1974



The following question is, if Jesus wasn't super nice, what was he like? And why would G-d (actual) forgive our sins if we believe in his "Son", if his son was all about pussy, beer, and pissing off Romans? Well, I guess that is something we all have to decide for ourselves, but, if I were to put together his life like a choose your own adventure story, I would say Jesus was a shitty debt ridden carpenter who had stayed one step ahead of the law till he took to grandstanding one fateful Passover, but whose death sent heart shape awesome rays at every person who believed in him, and G-d has made that belief the criterion for avoiding a horrifying eternity, because, why not?



The last permitted Q and A will be " But why would Jewish intelligentsia invent 'Nice Jesus'?" With the obvious answer being that a nice Jesus makes us less likely to murder them wholesale, Costco big-box style murder, with attending rape and pillage. Of course, any sane people wouldn't invent a false-flag deity to turn brutal pagans into sheeple, well besides Paul of course, the Jewish Benedict Arnold. Yet, we know, through reason, Zionists invented nice Jesus, probably, because Europeans just wouldn't let up with the constant, tantrum like murder of Jews...for centuries, which, AKA a pretty good reason. So was nice Jesus real? touring Judea, Galilee, and Samaria being awesome and doing awesome things for, and with, other awesome people. Or was "Nice Jesus" an invention of a bunch of Israeli conscripts in the 1970's as a counter to the Arabs Oil Embargo? The world may never know.