Glover's Calrissian is going to be totally depraved

"He is going to do it all, and if you don't shut up, he has space age duct tape"

While many outlets have discussed a young Lando Calrissian's pan-sexual proclivities, Ron Howard has gone a step further and made him a borderline Hannibal Lecter character, both in the outtakes, and further iterations of the now prolific Star Wars franchise. While Phil Lord and Christopher Miller had used the character to push a sexually exciting angle, Howard's will push the envelope on what is socially acceptable for a a non-villainous character.

"I want the audience to understand the fear and helplessness that comes with living outside the law in the 'Star Wars' universe, that friendly and likeable characters can turn on you in a moment, in the worst possible way, and there is nothing you can do about it" said an excited, nitrous huffing Howard's.

"He is kind of like someone who says 'I am only on this planet for night' so he kills a hooker, male female, whatever, because it doesn't really matter to him, he's eaten the candy, and is done with the wrapper" Donald Glover pointed out. "He doesn't see the world in terms of good or evil, light or dark, just one situation, person, or event to manipulate. Had not fate intervened I imagine he would have been angling for a Princess/ Hairsuite  threesome before disposing of enemies of the state in the original series, and I want to honor that" he added.

Both the actor, and everyone else involved in Disney's decision making has made it absolutely clear that they don't believe Pan-sexuals, are evil, psychopathic, manipulative madmen, who live for murder, mayhem, and power, but a young Lando Calrissian certainly was. They also made it clear that if the young Calrissian character proved popular, Disney is planning a trilogy, and additional spin off series. " We want the world to become acquainted with darkness, the humiliating milking of a once proud piece of intellectual property, and the virtual immunity that comes with being a planet hopping, charismatic man with wealth to burn" said an amorphous creature of gas and fire representing Disney, before sexually humiliating the assembled journalists.