The world does not end with a bang, but with a gurgle...of @#$% |
Of course the differences between the prophecies are largely a matter of perspective, with "Prophecy of the Scarab" being a human prophecy of the coming, hyper-evolved dung beetle, and "The Scarab Prophecy" being a collected and redacted prophecy of the ancient scarabs to dung producing species, with a special emphasis on humans and bovines. The former prophecy includes arcane methods to dramatically deal with the rise of the scarab, while the later basically outlines how the Ancient Scarabs will farm us for our shit. So, I guess they are really different in content as well, the subject of "Scarab" is really the only common link.
Copies of the The Scarab Prophecies have been widely printed in many different languages and are handed out freely in pamphlet form by acolytes of the scarab, and religiously themed readings and sing along readings are often offered in many larger cities for The Lazy and Illiterate, a trade guild supported financially and spiritually by the acolytes of the Scarabs and the Council of Ancient Scarabs, with additional funding provided by sympathetic secret societies across the globe.
Despite overlapping and and enmeshed goals with Donut(s) Party, Donut(s) Party wages a holy war against the coming of the Scarab, after the fiasco of Scarab Agents attempting to strong arm and blackmail the management of a local and beloved doughnut shop into seeding their donuts with Hyper-Evolved-Scarab larvae. The plot further thickened when it turned out it was a Potemkin donuts shop established in 1974 by the founders of Donut(s) Party as honey pot scheme to attract and eliminate rogue, heretic members of Donut(s) Party who hoped to incorporate Sadomasochistic punishment elements into Donut(s) Party events, and "Trap Doughnut" being placed along Sacrosanct Donuts purchased from a revered, local, non-chain donuts shop, as Donut(s) Roulette was banned in all its form during the "Hazy Summer of 71" when the true principles of Donut(s) Party where canonized. With it's isolated location in Wausau, Wisconson, and access to Antigo loam for the production of exceptional donuts grains, and a staff of aging but lovable, hippies, who just so happen to be secret OG Donut(S) Party Zealots, it seems like an ideal place to test the Doughnut related dispersal, whether it be pathological, ideological, or genetically engineered scarab larvae, so it has been maintained as Mecca for Doughnut purists, who will blissfully never now the true, darker purpose of the beloved "Manna Doughnuts Emporium", as a trap for those who threaten the purity of doughnuts, made all the more heinous by the fact that most hoped to do so for personal gain, like pissing in holy water.
So on that sweltering August night in 2015 when Russian agents of the Scarab attempted to strong-arm the Founder of Donut(s) Party, Horatio Monte'Claire, into putrefying his beloved doughnuts, with cursed mutant larvae, he butchered some on the spot, and with the help of Hmong Clansmen who had bound themselves to Monte'Claire in the 1980's, through vow, sacrifice and marriage, he took the rest into the woods for Arcane Donut(s) Party rituals of purification, and released them to their masters, shattered and reformed to spread the Gospel of Donut(s), and began Monte'Claire's obsessive search for the Codex of the Scarab, which is the only way to decipher the Prophecy of the Scarab, which is written in Scarab Hieroglyphics by the Mad Coptic priest Cyril of Karnak in 628CE, began. The codex is currently being used by the Coptic Orthodox Church ostensibly to garner concessions for their faith from nations and other faiths who are being targeted by the Scarab conspiracy, while they hold the upper hand, but also as a cathartic game of "keep-away" so the rest of the world can know what it is like to be held within the grasp of pitiless forces they have no control over.
So we must ask, can and will Trump choose to help Monte'Claire find codex and rid the world of the scarab menace, or as often happens, in a moment hubris, mistakenly thinks he can control them, only to have them turn on us in a moment of weakness, allowing the cycle to repeat, or will he be (or has been) swayed by the Scarab's promises to transform him into an ancient scarab, or has lost his freewill entirely to the song of the scarab, and works to implement The Scarab Prophecy. Only time, and random incoherent twitter rants will tell, and may G-d have mercy on us all.
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