The Fellonist strike's Prohibition Town once again

Just when he thought he had found the perfect crime, the system changed the rules...

Prohibition Town, Indian Territories- While many of the towns folk had hoped that the repeal of prohibition within Prohibition Town would end the cycle of public drinking, organizing of crime, both illicit and seditious, bootlegging related massacres, and wild zoning and code violations at his many speakeasies owned and operated by The Fellonist and his nefarious associates, many of whom were on probation and their mere association with the Fellonist was in fact, a felony. Instead, according to the Fellonist's indentured butler, whose arrangement is a gross violation of the 14th Amendment, who said:

" As I initiated a rube goldberg scenario of felonies that resulted in the phonograph playing a bootlegged version of Morgenstimmung, and preparing his breakfast of poached poached eggs, Sausage made both from stolen cured pork, and pigs that were stolen and slaughtered onsite, as well as grits made from corn that was unethically and illegally harvested from federal lands, and cheese made from milk the Fellonist had stolen in the night from sleeping cows while in a farmer costume, which itself had also been stolen.The Fellonist sprayed his coffee out his nose when he saw the Prohibition Town Gazette's headline " Prohibition Repealed in Prohibition Town: Town hopes to rejoice" with the byline "I knew it could happen, but I never thought it would happen here" and wound up a time bomb that he threw out the window in rage onto the train tracks bellow."

While most onlookers at first thought his reaction was to the news that a whole avenue for breaking the law in such a way as to constitute a felony had been taken from a man who derives all sense of worth from his ability to commit such acts, it turns out that his entrance into town dressed as a Victorian era women wielding a hatchet, was with an entirely different, twisted, logic. As he smashed bottles and kegs at each newly opened Saloon and Tavern, many thought it odd, that a man who had such destructive capabilities, and who just that day had caused  53 train related fatalities, would go about destroying property in period drag with a small axe. It soon became apparent from his shrill proselytizing whine that he believed the repeal of prohibition was in fact a new law which mandated drinking, and if people were unable to drink, they would be found in arrears, as he explained when he thought he had trapped a unwary Publican in his scheme, which is his term for any series of actions. Once explained the Publican told him that there were still many, many, many illegal substances whose mere possession was a felony in most localities, including Prohibition Town, which convinced him to release his grip on the publicans collar and hitch a ride on the back of a trolley bound for booze town with intent to distribute.

No comments: