Bill Clinton to rock out with his.... WAAA!?!?!?

He's opening his ideological fly and letting his politics out

After spending the last... lets say...50 days, stumping for Hillary to ensure that New York Democrats wouldn't embarrass Hillary, like he has done so many times before; Bill feels like he can finally let it all out. Now that the popular will has been all but obliterated he plans to once again make his genitals front and center in the face of American politics. While already focus testing just how much infidelity he would be able to get away with, both on the campaign trail and hypothetically, in the white house, he has been seen in public "accidentally" letting his penis come into view. A staffer at the Clinton Foundation, who wished to remain anonymous, because that's what they are into, said " Oh, yeah, since they wrapped up New York his penis is all he can talk about, and he has definitely been testing the waters as far as how much he can show without creating waves".

Clinton describes, in details both minute and figurative, the exact dimensions and  qualities of his genitals, and how they have changed over the last 15 years, to the Pittsburgh chapter of the Special Libraries Association (SLA)

   While Millennials, who have overwhelmingly flocked to Sen. Sanders, might not remember just how big of a deal Bill Clinton's Penis is to this nation, most Americans will never be able to forget it. While it had always been an important part of his bad boy charm, Bill Clinton's Penises greatest moment was in 1998 when it was detailed in every publication in the nation, was on the lips of every commentators, it was reviewed by congress, it was even the entire subject of many a late night monologue, to say the least, his Penis had never been bigger. While it has diminished greatly in the last decade and a half of playing second fiddle to his wife's ambition, little slick willy is stirring once again, and no one wants it seen more then Bill who has hired a Transgender "make up artist" to help present it in the best possible light, and just engorged enough to be presentable, an apparent nod to the LGBTQ community, or he just likes his cosmetics both ways.
  While campaigning in Philadelphia the former president shocked crowds as he moved away from the podium as his gussied up glans were unveild for all to see, and his make up artist, who had been preparing him the last 15 minutes from inside the podium, was finally allowed a sigh of relief. The former president then did a brief, carefree dance, kicked his heels, followed by ten minutes of tap-dancing, before stuffing it back in and walking off stage to wild applause.