Donald Trump isn't Hitler! He is King George III

Currently, and hopefully forever, Adolph Hitler is the reigning symbol of political evil in the world, a man who was able to twist beautiful and positive things about his society, and the world, into a nightmare we will never shake, and which there were no costs to big, no red line we wouldn't cross, no allies too horrid to make, in order to put the Nazi regime and it's charismatic leader in the ground, for good. So, for any future generations, being able to tie your enemy to Adolph Hitler and his Nazis is the socio-political El-Dorado, since if they are your enemy, you can do no wrong, you can be a Soviet under Stalin and still be the "Good Guys". So it is no wonder that the enemies of President Donald Trump are trying desperately to paint him in such a light. Unfortunately, this analogy doesn't work, at all.

This is a rich entitled douche-bag, who is pretending to be in the military, but won't go to Vietnam

This is Hitler in 1919, a WWI veteran who had been blinded by WMD's. the son of a clerk and simple minded women, whose moral bonafides, at that point in history, are pretty good

Now, of course this article is not about riding the Fuhrer small and malformed cock, but instead an impassioned defense of Godwin's Law. Trump is nothing like Hitler, to say so taints everything that was done to defeat the man. He is a specimen, unique and disturbing, like the musings of H.R Giger and H.P. Lovecraft, a Human cephalopod that avoided mating so he could lead Germany into a wild messianic future . Trump is a large and possibly ancient, Saltwater Crocodile that has been deified by a tribe of headhunters, a tribe that just happens to be the most powerful nation on earth.

Here Melanie and Donald can be seen in their natural form, with petulant Barron in tow

Metaphors aside, a much more fit, appropriate and american analogy would be [Horns sounding]

King George III, Manspreading

Our original enemy, an aloof, far off autocratic aristocrat who restricted immigration, denied Americans representation, and eventually, tried to take our guns (at Lexington and Concord). King George III began his reign with a "UK first, Colonies whatever the @#$%" attitude, stating to parliament, "Born and educated in this country, I glory in the name of Britain" Doesn't sound very American to me. 

Here we can see the President sacrificing a random child from the audience to his Idol of Moloch

Now a gaggle of pandering liberal might try to explain the moral relativism of his position, and how he was much more liberal than many reigning monarchs, how the taxes that the colonies had to pay were minuscule, or appropriate, and I would respond by preform an increasingly loud human beat boxing version of the American national Anthem until you stop talking, and if  it looks like you are waiting until I am finished to start talking again I will go into a falsetto version of the "Battle Hymn of the Republic", and if you are monstrously patient, and have waited all this time to politely get a word in edge wise, as you are about to reply I will begin shouting the names "George Washington, John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, Alexander Hamilton. John Jay, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison" I will stop long enough to see if you are still in the game, and if so, I will begin yelling the list again, because that's the Merican way to win the argument.

Underneath their wigs, make up and foppish dress, Trump & George are basically the same person

   So dress up as Native Americans to dump Trump products in the sea, Boycott his products, write up a list of grievances, brand him a tyrant, and wage brutal war against him if he tries to take our guns, because he is an enemy we know and have dealt with before, not a supernatural form of human evil distinct and superior to the devil.

In a rare, candid moment, Bill Clinton admits Donald Trump is his fault

"Yup, I basically lowered the bar on everything" Said a clearly High and Coked up former President Clinton, nursing a black eye, and hiding out from Hillary till she sobered up again. "Between my personal behavior towards women before and during my presidency, my sly manipulation of the media, being able to regularly break the law and get away with it, in plain view! Think about it, had there been broad bi-partisan support for my impeachment on moral and legal grounds, how the hell could anyone vote for a known philanderer and misogynist?" The former leader of the free world said between puffs on his blunt while being orally pleasured by a prostitute that was clearly part of a Chinese honeypot scheme.

Just how Bill Clinton likes them, mildly attractive, and entirely at his mercy

"Take 'Su Dix' if that is her real name, no, no, don't talk, I know she was sent by Beijing, but I am already, and have been since 1992, in their pocket, frankly right now, I am their play thing as much as Su Dix is mine. Do you think people could shrug off a clear Russian connection to Trump, if there hadn't been a clear connection between me and China, and during my term as President I did everything I could to pave the way for their ascent even at that expense of the American worker and our national security? Hell nooo!" Said the climaxing former Governor of Arkansas.

The former President thanks G-d every day that dogs can't talk to the press, and even if they could they can be bought off with Peanut butter

"Of course there is the more obvious level, my general sleaze, so abundant and potent it sticks to anything and anyone associated with me: My wife, my interns, my vice president, the list can go on and on" Said the man who publicly tarnished the office of the Presidency on many occasions. " But on a more meta level, had I not repealed Glass-Steagall, the economy might not have tanked as much, or not at all, John McCain would have been a two term President, and no one is electing a 74 year old has been reality star to the Presidency since Barack Obama would have had enough experience with consensus building to be one of the greats, but, oh, well" Said the man who was elected on a populist platform thanks to an eccentric billionaire, against George Bush, Reagan's VP, who became president, and presided over our victory against the USSR.


Additional reporting provided by the Chinese Ministry of State Security

The Reign of the Scarab is Upon Us

If you want a vision of the future, imagine a ball of shit being rolled over a human face, by beetles, forever

Over the last 3 months the President Elect, and then President Actual, flamboyantly summoned the political and cultural elite to his goldplated sky tank, to talk, eat, laugh, and be belted to surgical table as the 70 year old enemy of all vomits hardened knots of fecal matter into the pried open mouth of his victims, infecting them with scarab beetles and fulfilling the "Prophecy of the Scarab", and one of his most cherished and long held sexual fetishes.

Then, in a series of rapid fire executive orders, he replaced the nations food stamp program with dung rations, by first mocking the social weakness of the poor, called their children looosers, and then stated "A beetle that eats dung, need not eat or drink anything else" and dubbed it his "Eat Shit and Live" program. The insect hive mind controlling the Trump's meat suit went on to warn that we needed to build the border wall immediately to keep Mexicans from stealing our shit.  America tried to take this figuratively before Trump clarified that he meant the collected scat of herbivores and omnivores, with that produced by the latter clearly being superior.

The President than asked for some privacy as he had acquired some especially finely textured dung and hoped to fertilize it with the help of his adviser and son-in-law Jared Kushner, though, like the ancient Egyptians, he is wrong in believing that he can procreate by simply injecting his sperm, and that Jared Kushner, into a ball of finely textured shit.