Sex Toys in the classroom?

Not for the students! Who are under 18, without a Permission letter, unless permitted by state law
While allowing sex toys, both their storage and use, in the classrooms, library, principles office, inside ones own locker if space permits, A Professors office and/or panel van, the teachers lounge, or on a pile of belongings that people carelessly left in the classroom, seems antithetical to the principles of academia, we all know that just makes it hotter. While students, professors, teacher, assistants of various denominations,  and of course, janitors have known, holistically, that getting off with the help of sexual aides helps them be patient, kind, occasionally out of breath, improved concentration, and improve self-esteem, but now researchers are backing them up, and so are legislators. Disgraced, but still hilarious and likable, former Senator Al Franken commented:

" Had I had the pantheon of goofy, comical, over the top, and surprising anatomically correct, while still plummeting into the uncanny valley in a rainbow of ways, sex toys to play out my humorous machinations with, using a human model would have been the furthest thing from my mind. While the flight of ideas that typify a comical genius like me, should never be stifled by petty morality, but I understand that, in the current political climate, where the victims are now being heard, it isn't time for standing up for honking a women's imaginary breasts over her flack jacket, while getting revved up to entertain the troops, even if it deprives the good people of Minnesota of proper representation, and all my hilarious boners, figurative and otherwise"

Followed quickly by an attempted cock punch this journalist deftly parried, but not without having to endure the collateral titty twist, as so many journalists have in return for interviewing the beloved thespian, former senator,  and infamous national treasure.


MIT, Harvard, and Rape U have come out with volumes of data, for the first time written with both hands due to technology, instead of the oral and digital skills of pliant and/or star struck interns, that supports the regular us of sex toys to improve physical and psychological health, and their normalization in society. Researchers, who clearly practice what they preach, as evidenced by the sounds emanating from the researchers torso of vibrations, various electronic alerts, scrotal movement, and the otherwise explainable glassy stares  and heavy breathing of researchers distractedly taking questions, promised that the muting of ones acute biological imperative through regular release, would make up for soporific behavior, and a general lack of initiative. While a clear, breathy argument can be made on both sides, this reporter can't help wonder, won't somebody think of the children?

This sexual sculpture had been hanging in Mrs. Delaney's of  Duluth, MN, classroom, before the schoolmarms and city-father forced her to take it down


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