Hillary Clinton admits...

Hillary Clinton admits that she could never animate her base like Trump can, and that even during the campaign most voters subconsciously saw them as an old married couple.

"I mean, did you see the women's march! I would like to say my inauguration crowd would have been that large, but in all tru-th-full-nes, it probably would have been just friends, family, anyone I could threaten into being there and few stray dogs, and if anything, my methods and views would have made misogynist and racists shine like they haven't since "Birth of a Nation", while my base would barely have the energy to shame them, much less engage them in meaningful debate. Yes, I would have burned down congress, blamed it on white nationalists, use the police to quash dissent, declare a state of emergency, and amend the constitution to allow me to make law with out the legislature in my first 100 days, so my bases passion would have been inconsequential, but still..."

Said the former First Lady to her bathroom mirror, which is actually a two way glass, that the former president uses to voyeuristicaly pleasure himself during his wife's morning routine, as it is the only way she can still arouse him after 42 years of "marriage". She went on to clarify that disloyal staffers, men, who are by their nature misogynistic and bigoted, women who hate her for her power and grace, unfavorable winds & tides, and a G-d who refuses to bend to her will because he is an obstructionist, are the causes for her defeat, not anything about her history and personality.

Thankfully her shrill crescendo blaming white males for our financial, social and military woes  drown out Bill's moans and squishes

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